Julep: don't blink first

I told Mr. J last night, sometimes I feel like dealing with his mom is an elaborate game of chicken.

Our anniversary is coming up next month, as y'all may remember, and we have built a little tradition of taking a trip together each year to celebrate. Since the kids came along, the trips have gotten shorter due to the need to arrange for child care. (We took the Bear the first year and realized that a family trip is not at all a romantic way to spend our anniversary.) Last year we took a three-day weekend and went to Chicago. This year we were hoping for five days/ four nights - the kids would go to school three days and spend one weekend day and two nights with each set of grandparents.

J-Mama was on board, but we hit a snag when Mr. J reached out to his parents. Evidently the Mr-Parents were planning to go down to their boat that weekend, though they assured Mr. J they would be happy to help out some other weekend. I was pretty frustrated - it's not like they had any special plans for that weekend, it's just one of many to be spent puttering around in Hilton Head. But J-Mama gave me some very sage advice: she said, "You chose to have children, they didn't choose to have grandchildren. If there's a need for someone to revise a plan to accommodate your kids, it's your need, not theirs." Fair enough.

I really hate re-assigning celebrations to other dates. So rather than reschedule the whole trip, we decided to find alternative arrangements. We changed our venue from Taos to Maine and cut a day off the trip. I figured to call on one or more of my cousins to pick the kids up from my mom on Sunday morning and entertain them for the day -  Mr-Sister agreed to spend the night with the kids at our house on Sunday and get them to school on Monday morning. Still working out the details on who would pick them up from school on Monday night as our flights were coming in late. 

So last night we had dinner with Mr. Mama, and she said, "Tell me about what you have planned for your anniversary trip." I told her all of the above (the last paragraph, that is). And she said, "Well, I can pick them up on Monday." I said, "That would be fantastic, but I thought you would be out of town." Well, it turns out her plans are still in flux. They haven't committed to whether they are going down that weekend. If they go, it will be a short trip since she is planning to play in a golf tournament on Monday morning. Maybe they won't go at all.

In other words, she didn't have any firm plans for the weekend of our anniversary, she just didn't want to commit herself to watching our kids. But she REALLY doesn't like being left out.

Julep: that sinking feeling, Part 2...

When you read an entire Op-Ed by Rand Paul and realize you agree with everything in it....

Julep: on celebrities and good manners

Looks like maybe we've all forgotten about the blog lately. But even if no one is going to read this, I'm writing it here, because I don't want to start a Facebook war with some bunch of people I don't really know.

So as y'all know, there's this pro sports extravaganza going on in our town right now. This morning, I saw that a guy whom I know from my Leadership Class a few years ago - nice guy, about our age, works in insurance, has a cute little family - posted on FB that his wife saw an Internationally Famous Superstar Athlete and his Olympic Athlete Girlfriend last night, sitting in their parked car outside of the Macy's and looking in the shopping bag. His wife went up and knocked on the car window to ask for an autograph, and IFSA waved her away. Acquaintance's post was extremely huffy: how could IFSA be so rude? And his commenters were in full agreement with him.

Does anyone here disagree with me that the rude person was Acquaintance's Wife? I mean, for the love, let the man check his bag full of athletic socks and underwear in peace. (Sidebar: what do you think these two were buying at Macy's? It's got to be socks or underwear, right? Maybe a belt?)

Personally, I would consider it borderline tacky to approach a celebrity at any time -- although if you happen to be at a restaurant with one of your absolute favorite celebrities, and you feel that you cannot refrain from pausing at their table on your way out to say, "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I just want to say how much I have always enjoyed your work," carry on. And if you find yourself in an elevator or drinks line with a famous person, and you feel moved to start up a conversation just as you might with a normal person, feel free.

But to walk over and knock on the window while he was sitting in his car? Who does that? I wouldn't even walk up to the car of one of you girls while you were sitting there looking in your bags. I would try to catch your eye and wave - I might call you on the phone and say, "Is that you sitting in the Macy's parking lot?" A parked car is an extension of someone's personal space. It would be like walking up to his hotel room and knocking on the door - only even creepier, because at least the hotel room door has a peephole and he doesn't have to make eye contact when ignoring you.

If Acquaintance's Wife had spotted IFSA and OAG while they were shopping, managed to walk over next to them while they were sorting the rack of belts for the right size, and casually said hello, and they were rude to her? OK, fine. Complain about it on Facebook ... though really - these people are not zoo animals. They are not here for your observation. I cannot imagine that after a less-than-stellar day of playing his sport, IFSA wanted to be harassed by autograph seekers.

Honey, you are making this whole town look bad. Act like you've been here before.