Mr. Sister wants me to sing in her wedding. Fine. What does she want me to sing? Well, the Ave Maria - not that this is a church wedding, but whatever, I can sing the Ave - and "something" between the readings. OK, what? She has nothing in mind, what do I usually sing in weddings? Well, usually I sing the responsory psalm and the Mass parts since, you know, it's a wedding Mass. I don't exactly have a repertoire from which to pick a piece to sing for her defrocked-priest-in-an-event space-readings-from-the-Prophet-make-it-up-as-you-go ceremony.
I suggested that perhaps she should pick something meaningful to her and the HRF; she didn't have any ideas. I gave her a couple of jazz standard suggestions; she didn't like them since all of the rest of the music in her wedding is pretty significantly classical. I suggested that she probably doesn't need me to sing "Ave verum corpus" in light of the venue, and offered some Haley Westenra (the female Josh Groban). In response, she volunteered Mary Chapin Carpenter, "Grow Old With Me." Sure, I can sing Mary Chapin.
That exchange was three weeks ago. Then today she asks if I saw her email about the Beatles song and did I want to set up a time to rehearse with the violinist or am I good to just warm up the day of. What? Oh, she talked to the musicians and they already know "Love Is All You Need" so she figures I can just sing that. What?
I am a soprano. The Beatles are all tenors, with a pretty high sound. If I sing that in my high range, only dogs will be able to hear it. When I sing in my car, I just bounce back and forth between low voice and high voice, but you know, that will sound a little silly in front of 160 people. And if you haven't listened to that song lately, refresh yourself and notice there are a lot of backing vocals, which I will not be performing because, you know, there is only one of me.
Maybe ASK your vocalist before you pick a song. And no, it's not something I can just warm up the day of.
She also got pissy with me because Mr. J didn't tell her or her mother that we were celebrating Bit's birthday yesterday (Sunday) until Saturday. Well, I said, take it up with him. I printed up the invitations and invited every little kid in her class and all of our friends' kids and my family -- he was responsible for inviting his family. Everything is not my job. "Well, you could just tell one of us and we can call it around." Chick, are you listening to me? I am not responsible for everything. "Well, that sucks for us." Yes, your mother's failure to raise him properly may redound to your detriment. You are not my problem. I have enough to do, thanks.
Seriously? It's a birthday, not a state secret. When you see it coming up on the calendar, if you want to know when we are celebrating and no one has called you, how about you pick up the goddam phone and ask your brother when the party is.
