Twinkle: Charity Gets Me Nowhere

Where is everyone and why am I the only one who posts? I want reports of Dibbs' dating dramas, Julep's babymakin' marathon, and Lola's pre-conception self-analysis toute de suite. (There's a reason why it's a stealth blog, ladies...)

So, I was feeling charitable and thought I'd throw my MIL a bone. Her friend is keeping some grandchildren, so MIL had asked me a few days ago if she could take Twinklette to play with these kids one afternoon. I said sure and called her today to finalize the plans--not because I needed a break, but because I was trying to do something nice for my MIL. So I said in the course of the conversation that Twinklette takes really long naps these days, so a morning playdate might be better. Apparently these kids can't do mornings, but MIL was all, "Well, we can do a late afternoon playdate, but I'll take her on a different morning...to give you some time to yourself so you can get something done." And she didn't ask; she announced.

MIL is all about giving me "time to myself" so I can "get something done." She actually wants me to have it more than I want it. I mean, I get time to myself every day from noon to four-ish (if I'm lucky), plus after 7 at night. The only activities that are actually hindered by Twinklette's presence are antiquing and spa treatments, and I seriously doubt the "something" my MIL wants me to "get done" is a chemical peel. I can do basic household maintenance while Twinklette is playing or sleeping, and I know MIL secretly thinks my house is clean because one time she forgot herself and asked if I was having company when I wasn't. No ma'am...I'm just really good at "get[ting] something done," even with a little child running around.

The last time I was supposed to "get something done," I went to the pool with our eight-months-preggo friend and laid around all morning...and it was wonderful. But I could tell my MIL was a little disappointed, upon her return, that I was all bronzed up, bathing suit peeking out of my shirt, instead of doing something productive. MIL doesn't know how to lie around by a pool, and we're all worse off for it.

I do appreciate when MIL watches her if I have something else going on, but I dread the times when she asks for Twinklette to go off with her when I'm not doing anything else. Believe it or not, I wanted to have a child for many reasons, none of which was because I wanted "time to myself." (If that's what I'd wanted, I would have stuck with anti-social and sometimes sociopathic Siamese cats). Not that time to myself isn't nice...it is. But when I generously offer for MIL to take her as a favor to her (and get "time to myself" then), and then she announces, "I'll take her Friday morning, too," it makes me feel like it's never enough.

I know some people would think that sounds really nice. Maybe I just object to the dishonesty of it all. It's not about me getting time to myself or getting something done; we all know it's about my MIL having time with Twinklette. And she should have time with Twinklette--special grandmother/granddaughter time that is theirs and theirs alone. But she shouldn't demand it under the pretense of doing me a favor, when it's really the other way around.