Twinkle: Appalled. Just Appalled.

I'm not really the type of girl who has trouble making friends. In fact, sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the pace that I keep up in my social life, and that's the way I prefer it. I'm always willing to make new friends (because I am a more-the-merrier type of a girl), but I do find that friendships happen naturally when allowed to start and progress at a normal pace.

Of course, nothing my in-laws ever do is normal.

So, Twinklette has a friend at school, Bella. She talks about Bella all the time and refers to Bella as her best friend, and I like Bella because she has a big adorable mess of curly brown hair and an affinity for tutus. Bella's family is from here but just moved back from Chicago...so we have something in common other than the fact that our daughters are good friends. I would like to meet Bella's mother, do something social, and possibly add her to my roster of friends if she seems like a fun girl, because it would be nice to be friends with the mother of one of Twinklette's friends.

Well, Mr. Twinkle's cousin is one of Twinklette's teachers, and she has been pushing a friendship between Bella's mother and me for months. She actually wanted me to write a note with my phone number on it, to be sent home to Bella's mom in Bella's backpack. If that doesn't smack of desperation, I don't know what does. I put the kabash on that, you'd better believe. I have been trying to get the cousin to just back off on the whole thing, since Bella and Twinklette are going to be in the same class together for years to come. I'm sure I will meet Bella's mother eventually, and when I do I don't need her thinking I'm a complete freakazoid.

Well, MIL took care of that tonight once and for all.

Tonight was Twinklette's school program, and I have to give her credit for putting on her elephant costume and getting up on that stage (after much resistance) and working it. Anyway, the subject of Bella (and Bella's mother, and Bella's grandparents) came up during the show, and it turns out Bella and Twinklette are distantly related. Which is super-exciting. Yay for being cousins with someone you really like hanging out with!

So after the show, Bella's mother was walking to the parking lot when MIL was holding Twinklette. MIL made a beeline through the crowd, cornered Bella's mother (who is a sort of cool-looking, half crunchy, half black North Face kind of a gal), and proceeded to introduce herself as Twinklette's grandmother. The woman didn't even have Bella with her at the time, so how were we even supposed to know she was Bella's mother? MIL then (pushily, might I add) introduced me, Mr. Twinkle, and Mr. Twinkle's dad, as the extended family slowly made a circle around Bella's mother, like sharks. Bella's mother was gracious, even though MIL never even asked her for her name beyond "Bella's mom"--I still have no clue what her name is. Then, two of the most socially awkward people ever to walk the face of the earth, Mr. Twinkle's aunt Gail and uncle Phil, came up without any introduction and said, "How are you all related?" Bella's mother looked confused, as there had never been any mention of being related, and she had no idea who any of us were, except Twinklette. MIL started rattling off genealogy and a lot of names I had never heard. Bella's mother looked like she wanted out of the conversation, and who could blame her? And, let me tell you, that's something else the two of us had in common. The whole thing was just so awkward, appalling, and not normal.

It's the same with a social situation as it is with a dinner party...MIL cannot just let either one unfold naturally and beautifully. If she wants something to happen socially (as in, Twinklette be friends with her Jewish distant cousin and me be friends with her Jewish distant cousin's mother--because, make no mistake about it, us having Jewish friends is what all this was about), she just pushes her way in and engineers every detail. The irony is that she did more harm than good. MIL needs to back the f*ck off and let me make my own friends.

I'm clearly doing a good job of it without her assistance. My dance card is far more full than hers can ever hope to be...wonder why.