Twinkle: Let My People Go (wherever they want for dinner tomorrow night)

So, there's a friend of ours, a certain eccentric former prosecutor-turned-defense-attorney with a proclivity for gourmet cooking, cats, and musical theatre. I think we all know to whom I'm referring here. This particular person turned down my in-laws' invitation to this year's Passover seder because his parents were in town and they didn't want to do anything religious. For the record, I think our friend normally enjoys the seders (as do I), but since his parents were in town and weren't interested, he decided to bow out this year. That's their business, in my opinion, and it's not my place--or anyone else's--to question it or be offended by it, even though I wish he were coming. The seder will be as bland as a matzo cracker without him.

He was gracious about it, explaining to my MIL that they were going to "do their own thing," which even she considered a legitimate excuse (although I'm sure she thinks no one can do Passover with quite the level of precision and organization that she does). Well last night he happened to run into my sister-in-law, and he mentioned to her the real reason that he wouldn't be coming to the seder: his parents aren't interested in doing anything religious on their trip here. Again, their business. SIL took offense to it, talked loudly about their "awkward" conversation in front of my MIL, who now knows the real reason this friend and his parents won't be at the seder. And, not possessing my level of magnanimity or ability to just shrug it off as not that big of a deal, my MIL naturally got all huffy about it. Mr. Twinkle and I denied knowledge.

Regarding my sister-in-law's punking of this person, my question is this: why do it? I would never, ever do that. Not that I felt the need to cover for our friend; I just believe that his reasons for attending or not attending an event are his business alone, so why mention the real reason to my in-laws when they're going to be upset about it? I am just not in the business of punking people, especially to people who go around acting more-kosher-than-thou and are notorious for holding grudges. Why do it? Why not just let my MIL believe they had their own family seder (as we all know, this friend of ours would be perfectly capable of throwing one)? That way, the friend and his parents get to observe their religious holiday in their own way, and MIL could still cling to the smug belief that no one would ever be so crazy as to turn down her brisket except for the most extenuating of circumstances, and peace would prosper throughout the land.

My point is people need to mind their own d*mn business and stay out of other people's affairs.