Y'all know I am a devout adherent of the Dibbs Anti-Shower Manifesto, freeing us from the tyranny of afternoons spent wearing pantyhose to sit around the living room of some woman you've never met who works with your friend's mother, emptying out your purse to win the game du jour, trying not to say anything eyebrow-raising to your friend's future mother-in-law, and watching your friend unwrap box after box containing one piece of her sterling flatware. Baths forever, showers never!
That said, last week I was advised as to two upcoming showers, and I am on the horms of a dilemma. One of the prospective showers will be a family affair. Pilot and War Bride are going to be at home for a week this summer and my aunt wants to plan a baby shower. I am dearly fond of my family, but almost certainly going to skip this one. First and foremost, I'd like to continue success in the battle against bitterness that this child is pregnant and I am not. On a more practical note, this prospective event has AWFUL written all over it. The median guest age will be in the very early 20s, if that. You know there will be games. I won't put any money on the presence of alcohol - even if it's there, there won't be enough to get me through an afternoon of giggling college girls guessing how many squares of toilet paper it would take to wrap around War Bride's pregnant belly. (I am not sure there is enough alcohol for that, period.) Last but not least, my aunt is darling, but she is from Cincinnati and you know the spread of eatables at a Yankee function is never up to Southern standards. And really, she shouldn't be hosting it herself ... oh dear.
In reflection, I wonder if our phone call the other day was her fishing around for me to offer to host the shower. Someone, please tell me I don't have to offer to host War Bride's baby shower. If it were at my house, the food would be good and I could get as drunk as I deemed necessary, but I still don't think I can deal with the squealing collegians.
The other baby shower is a girl I work with and quite like. I'll call her "Agnes." She grew up with Mr. J and their whole families are friends. This is not a "work" shower - I do go to those for workplace camaraderie, plus they're usually cocktail parties, no games, and always some of us hang out in the kitchen while the gifts are being unwrapped. Agnes and I joked that I am invited in my alter ego as a member of the Mr. J family, rather than in my professional persona.
Agnes assured me repeatedly that she will not take it amiss if I do not attend. She hates showers herself but her mom is dying to celebrate her first grandchild. Agnes insisted on scheduling the shower from 1-3 pm on a Sunday so as not to ruin an entire Saturday - there will be games, but the food will surely be delicious, and I foresee mimosas galore.
My dilemma is this. On the one hand, as we all know, one core element of Shower Refusal is refusing all invitations, since no one can get hurt feelings if you refuse to go to everyone's showers. On the other hand, I am a little worried about dissing Agnes, her family, and the larger circle of Mr-J family connections on the shower front. I admit this is self-serving ... but if the Adoption Fairy drops a baby in my lap on a week's notice, I might need a shower one of these days not too far in the future. I'm pretty sure there is a short-term sacrifice for long-term gain equation here ... or is it a long-term sacrifice for short-term gain?
1). You do not have to host War Bride's shower. There, someone said it.
ReplyDelete2). The moratorium on showers is strictly there for the sake of convenience...if you want to go to the party for Agnes, you should go. (Especially since she's a co-worker AND family). I'm pretty sure the rules about showers are not hard-and-fast, and can be ignored in certain cases.
3). If any person ever needs a baby shower, it's the mama who has her baby dropped into her lap on short notice, as you said. I propose all former shower rules be suspended when such a situation arises...who says we can't all go out to a restaurant for drinks and baby gear gift-giving? (No pantyhose required).
P.S. That was me, Twinkle.
ReplyDelete1) War Bride will need 5 squares. She's a child. Don't go to her shower.
ReplyDelete2) If you want to go to Agnes's shower, go. Take your own booze.
3) I'll give you an adoption shower. I'll need one should Baby Shagari show up, despite by prolonged protests against them. ~Dibbs