Twinklette is a picky eater and it gets worse at my inlaws' house. She will sit in front of a plate of chicken pot pie (which she likes at home) for an hour and a half, with everyone begging her to eat it and talking loudly about how good it is, and I know she enjoys the drama of it because at our house none of it is never remotely as bad. Whatever. I'm sure my MIL loves watching us try to walk the fine line between disciplining her and not causing a scene at the dinner table. It is awful for me.
Tonight it came up that Twinklette likes mac and cheese (what four-year-old doesn't?) and MIL pointed out that cousin Sophie, my SIL's daughter, likes it but doesn't get to eat it often. Of course Twinklette stated that she does get to eat it a lot. She loves throwing me under the bus, that one. Even though I haven't fixed it for her since I can remember.
And this made me think. Yes, I am pretty much a complete failure with Twinklette's eating habits, although it's not for lack of trying and they always somehow see the worst of it. I am also certain that she is not the only picky child out there. But what advantages does Twinklette have over Sophie? Does Sophie know what toile is? Does her mother ever bake cupcakes with her? Does Sophie go to art museums, antique shops? Is there even a tiny bit of color in Sophie's beige house and beige world? Is anybody bothering to teach Sophie about good taste? Is anybody cultivating in Sophie a sense of what is tacky and what is not?
The answer to all of the above is no, and I really don't want to make it a motherhood competition between my SIL and me--and I certainly don't want it to be a competition between my girls and Sophie. I'm not saying I'm a better mother; I really don't want to compete with anyone or to be compared to any standard but my own. I'm saying I do things my way and my way is valid, and I'm not perfect but I do what I can to enrich my children's lives. Also, Tiny T will eat anything you put in front of her and will lose her mind if you don't feed her broccoli fast enough, so maybe it depends on the child (and not the incompetent mother) after all.
In closing, I would like to say that if Mr. Twinkle and I are ever blessed with a son, I will treat his wife like a human being (and, I hope, like a daughter), and I hope that my girls will embrace her as a sister and not make her feel like an outsider and a failure. She will certainly do things differently--every family is different--but if I do one thing for my girls I hope it's to teach them that other ways are OK too. If Sophie's lineage is any indication, that's one more lesson she'll probably miss.
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