So I have been meaning to post about this for about a week, but with all the birthday fun (and subsequent recovery) I am just now getting around to it.
Last week around this time I vented to Lola about my MIL. She invited Twinklette and me to see Mary Poppins last weekend. She takes Twinklette to all kinds of performances and I think it's great--I really have no problem with it. Why would I? The only reason she invited me, however, was because of a certain event last winter at Derby Dinner Playhouse. My MIL and Grandma-In-Law (GMIL) always take Twinklette to the children's plays at Derby Dinner. Twinklette loves it; MIL and GMIL have fun; I get a free Saturday morning. Everyone wins. Well last winter SIL was in town with her little girl. So they all went, and made a day of it, and it was everyone but me. I thought it was a little weird that it was this big mother/daughter/grandmother/granddaughter day, and the only person who wasn't invited was the mother of 2/3 of the grandchildren (me). Mr. Twinkle thought it was weird, too, and I guess he mentioned something about it to his dad, and the next thing you know, I'm invited to Mary Poppins, which was totally different because it wasn't everyone going. I certainly don't object to Twinklette having special and fun times with her Grams and Gigi; I just want to be included if it's some big mother/daughter occasion.
OK, so Mary Poppins. I didn't really want to go in the first place, because it was the day before Tiny Twinklette's birthday party, and also because I have better things to do than spend an afternoon with my MIL, and I was also annoyed that she didn't see the distinction between the mother/daughter day last winter and just any performance. So that was the jumping off point.
I got a call from MIL last Friday morning; apparently she came into a couple of extra tickets. She was calling me to get the phone number of Bella's mom so that she could call and invite Bella and her mom to the performance. Now, I don't really hang out with Bella's mom, and I've always felt that Bella's mom thinks I am a bit weird, probably because I have never fully recovered my coolness after our awkward and appalling initial meeting. I mean, can you imagine how that phone call would have gone? I don't even want to think about it. If MIL wants to force a friendship between Bella's mom and me, this is not the way to do it, because Bella's mom thinks I'm a freak. Because of MIL. So please don't ever call her, MIL. I mean, how would MIL even explain getting the number in the first place? Also, why not say to me, "Is there a friend of Twinklette's and her mom that you'd like to invite?", instead of insisting on Bella? Because there are mothers of Twinklette's friends that don't think I'm a complete weirdo (I get along quite well with all of them, actually, with the exception of Bella's mom...it's ironic that the one person MIL wishes I would hang out with is the one that she totally cockblocked me with). It goes back to her having to control everything, but she majorly botched this one.
And I can only imagine the conversation. "Hi, Bella's mom? This is Twinklette's grandma. We're distantly related and we met when my whole family and I circled you like sharks at the Spring Program two years ago. We haven't spoken since, but I'd love for you all to come to a performance of Mary Poppins with me!"
I was freaking out.
I called Mr. Twinkle, who agreed that it was bizarre as well as a suicide mission. He stated the obvious truths that I just could not see through my neuroses and desperation not to make the situation with Bella's mom worse. He had the perfect answer. It was so simple: he said I should call Bella's mom, and invite just Bella. That way, we would keep Bella's mom and my MIL from interacting, we would avoid a totally awkward afternoon, and maybe Twinklette would get to take her friend to Mary Poppins.
I did it, and it worked! Bella's mom had to be downtown with one of her other kids for a birthday party, so the drop-off worked perfectly and she couldn't have gone even if I had told her she was invited. I could tell MIL that the mom was already busy but that Bella could go, without ever having to mention that I didn't invite Bella's mom in the first place. Bella's mom really appreciated us taking Bella to lunch and the play, and Bella and Twinklette had a wonderful time together and were really good during the play. I felt like Bella's mom thought I was more normal and we actually got to know each other a little better during the drop-off and pick-up, in a setting that mercifully didn't include my MIL or the specter of her past faux pas. So Mr. Twinkle's sage advice saved the day. Crisis averted, and it was actually a fun day!
P.S. I wonder if MIL knows that Bella's dad is Iranian and Muslim. Sad to say, but maybe it would make MIL slightly less enthusiastic to know that Bella's parents are not the paragons of Jewish virtue she thinks they are. I'm not going to tell her, though. Watching MIL judge people is actually worse than watching her idolize them.
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