Twinkle: You Know What They Say About Girls With Bows In Their Hair...

...They have good mothers.

As long as we're discussing annoying Facebook friends, I have something to contribute. I have one whom I actually don't know--she's someone who sort of knows Mr. Twinkle and when she friended me I said, "Hey, Mr. Twinkle, who is this?" and then I accepted. One of those. She has twin babies; they're kind of cute. That's about all I knew about her, until today, when I learned that I do not like her at all. She posted a picture and this line of BS: "I never thought I'd be a bow-in-the-hair mom. I am totally a bow-in-the-hair mom."

Now, as a so-called "bow-in-the-hair mom," I never defined myself as such because being a bow-in-the-hair mom comes as naturally as breathing to me. I never thought I would be anything but a bow-in-the-hair mom. I mean, what other type of mom is there to be? The type who doesn't brush and style her girls' hair? The type who lets them choose their own outfits in the name of "creativity" and lets them run around looking like messy-haired little ragamuffins, all the while laughing about how they "just won't keep a bow in?" The hippie, Waldorf kind of mother who eschews hairbows and anything else pretty as trappings of the patriarchy? Let me tell you--that reality was never an option for me. Twinklette has known from the beginning that bows are non-negotiable. And, as we all know, that one's a negotiator.

But I have to ask, what is so wrong with being a "bow-in-the-hair mom?" And, if it's such a horrible thing to be, why the change of heart on the part of this random Facebook friend? (Let me venture a guess: is it because bows are adorable? Thought so.) Are there really people out there who see my children approaching, in their matching outfits and their coordinating bows, and say, "Oh, look at those poor children. They have one of those 'bow-in-the-hair' mothers"? I know everyone's judging everyone else's parenting at every turn, but it never occurred to me that bows were in the to-be-judged realm. Is nothing sacred? What's next? Smocking? Jon Jons? Anything not bearing the likeness of Elmo?

What's most offensive to me is the fact that she thought about bows at some point in her life prior to the birth of her children, and that she found something unpalatable about them. Like how we might say, "I'll never let my daughter be on a dance team/wear body glitter/walk around with bitchface." I know I shouldn't care about someone else's bad taste, but it bothers me that she has the same negative view toward bows, of all things, that I do to tramp stamps and vajazzling.

I have another Facebook friend--a former teacher at Twinklette's school, mother of small boys, and family friend. She kind of pokes fun at how my girls wear bows all the time--it's in a fun, loving way and I don't mind it at all. She tagged me in a post that said, "The bigger the bows, the better the mama." Perhaps I should leave that as a comment on the random girl's page, or maybe I should leave her with something much more sinister, like "Welcome to the dark side."

Actually I'll probably just ignore it, because, clearly, she's ignorant.