So tonight Fun Sink served dinner to 47 people, and yes, that is an impressive feat. According to a conversation Mr. Twinkle had with his dad, she's sort of over her role as banquet chef, and I don't blame her.
My FIL encouraged her to cut back--he reminded her that she doesn't have to be the longsuffering martyr who runs a matzo ball soup kitchen for everyone she knows every holiday. He encouraged her to cut some people if she has to, just to make her life easier. He was trying to be nice and help his wife.
But what does a martyr like Fun Sink do when someone tries to take away the source of her martyrdom? Why, get mad, of course. If she invited fewer people, she wouldn't be able to complain about there being too many people. Instead of saying "thanks for trying to make my life easier," Fun Sink accused my FIL of "not appreciating her." (That's the most I could get out of Mr. Twinkle. He's not the best communicator, and the fact that he could convey the basics of this conversation to me third-hand is a Rosh Hashanah miracle in itself).
Anyway, here's my problem: I have offered to help her many times. I've offered to bring food; I've offered to help set up. And I meant it, too. I like cooking; I like throwing parties; I could certainly inject some much-needed pizzazz into an otherwise bland and boring event. In my opinion, if you reject other people's offers to help, you have no right to complain about doing it all yourself. I can only conclude that, even though the work is overwhelming, it's worth it to her because it gives her something to complain about, and complaining is Fun Sink's raison d'etre. So she can go on hosting huge meals and taking in strays, and that's her business--but I don't have sympathy for someone whose own choices make things harder than they have to be.
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