Last night Lola and I had our orientation into our local secret, cultlike swim club. We both showed up in the cover of darkness--Lola in a preppy kelly green and navy ensemble--ready to sign our names in blood, or whatever.
After some light hazing, Lola and I left part of the elect, but I totally forgot to tell her about an exchange I had with a member over modesty issues at the pool.
We were reviewing the club rules (this was right before she made me lie down in the coffin), and she briefly mentioned that swim clothes need to be modest. She said, "We had a thong issue last summer." She went on to say that whoever wore this thong actually fought the club on the issue, because it didn't state anywhere in writing that thongs were verboten. The board changed the bylaws accordingly for this year, and now Mr. Twinkle will have to wear his thong somewhere else.
The funny part is that I think I know who wore the thong. I have nothing to base it on, except I know a certain person who lives on the same street as our dear Fleenor, who runs around in her sports bra all the time, whose Facebook profile pic is her in a Daisy Duke outfit, who owns a certain very popular upscale honkytonk, who stripped her way through law school. And who else but a lawyer is going to question the bylaws? (No offense meant to the Daddy Rabbit attorneys, but come on--y'all know it's true).
I have absolutely nothing to base it on other than this girl's relentless habit of strutting her stuff and the fact that I know attorneys love to have everything in writing, but I feel like this calls for an investigation. I know most of y'all swim there, so just ask around about the thong bylaw change until we get to the "bottom" of this issue.
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