Well Fun Sink and I have been in a good place lately, and I haven't logged into the blog for awhile. I see there's been lots of activity. Looking forward to catching up with everyone's airing of grievances.
Fun Sink did annoy me a little tonight. She was just a little bit hard on E, and I don't think that's fair.
The girls and I were at the zoo all afternoon, wandering around, eating bananas and peanut butter and crackers as we made our way through the zoo the opposite way from where we usually start. We saw King Louie the endangered white alligator, we saw vampire bats, we stayed on the playground as long as they wanted because we were all just so happy to be out in the sunshine. The only disappointment of the day was that the carousel was closed. E in particular was sad about it but she kept it together. We left the zoo and chalked the day up to a success.
Mr. Twinks is out of town, so Fun Sink and Mr. Fun Sink graciously took the girls to dinner while I went to PB. During the drop-off I handed Fun Sink a change of clothes for E and explained that E's got a new thing where she will only go to the potty at home or school.
Fun Sink looked appalled.
Now, this new phase is absolutely an inconvenience, but it is not the disaster that Fun Sink seems to think it is. E is not yet three; she was trained early because she was interested (unlike AM, who resisted at every turn until she finally decided for herself that it was the cool thing to do, and Fun Sink criticized that plenty, too). Now that E's getting a little older, she's noticing the size of some of the potties out there in the world and she's afraid she's going to fall in. I'm hoping this phase is short-lived, but I'm not that concerned about it. No one takes a Monsters University potty seat to college.
Fun Sink had to turn it into a lecture about E's diet and whether or not she's getting enough fiber. And, honestly, I do the best I can with trying to give everyone vegetables and fruits and healthy grains, but this issue can be traced to the exact moment when E saw a particularly behemoth toilet at the Macy's. She's a little kid and she's noticing that some of the potties out there are much bigger than she is. Fun Sink should have just taken the change of clothes and laughed about it. I'm sure she was thinking if given the chance, she could make E go on any potty anywhere, but I beg to differ. Girlfriend goes completely stiff and thrashes around screaming; my strategy is to just take a change of clothes along until she figures out that being able to go on any old potty is preferable to being uncomfortable and peeing yourself all the time.
Then E was all tired and sad about the carousel, and almost started crying when it came up that we went to the zoo. She reacts to things differently than AM, who would have demanded that we talk to the manager of the carousel and his/her boss and his/her boss and all the way up through the ranks of employees until she convinced the president of the zoo to open the carousel. When E really cares about something, she reacts with real, heartbreaking tears. And I can see when they're coming, and the best thing to do is just hug her and make her feel better.
I feel like Fun Sink doesn't know this. Fun Sink ruled her own children and countless elementary students with an iron fist, and she really believes that all children are alike and all children react the same way, and they shouldn't challenge authority (what AM does) and they shouldn't break down over something as seemingly insignificant as a carousel (what E does).
She still took my children to dinner and I still appreciate it, and I'm still cool with her. But I don't like her coming down hard on my sweet, sensitive E. Or my strong, fearless AM, for that matter. In all Fun Sink's years of parenting and teaching, I really don't think she has learned to let children be themselves. And that explains a lot about Mr. Twinks' people-pleasing neuroses--he tries to please her but he never will. No one will, not easygoing E and not strong-willed AM, and not even baby B, who will surely will fall short somehow to Fun Sink. How sad to be that person who's never going to be happy. How sad not to be able to accept your own children and grandchildren for who they are--especially when who one of those grandchildren is is a two-year-old.
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