Twinkle: the Kindness of Acquaintances

Goodness gracious what a lot has happened on here since I last checked. We've got a missing child with a crazy mother, Lola's pre-3d ultrasound confusion, and Mr. J's trip to the sperm bank (or a close approximation). I hope all three scenarios had good results!

It all makes what I was going to say positively mundane...but I'll say it anyway. Today Twinklette's music teacher told me she could tell, the first day she saw me, that I'm a good mother. And that is always nice to hear, but I think it's sort of sad that I only hear it from acquaintances and never from the people who see it up-close (I'm looking at you, MIL).

I had the same notion a few weeks ago when we visited my SIL in Connecticut, and a relative on my SIL's husband's side of the family came up to me and told me the same thing. I was helping Twinklette with breakfast in the hotel, and this woman sought me out specifically to tell me I was doing a good job. She didn't have to, and it meant a lot since most of the time the general consensus around there is that I suck.

It's not even that I need them to say, "You're doing a good job." It's not really the validation I need (although it would be nice), but I know it's not really about that that because I don't crave it from my parents, or you all, or Mr. Twinkle. I think I just resent my in-laws' unspoken sentiment that I'm not at all competent and that I'm (at best) in way over my head, and (at worst) rearing a prima donna serial killer with attachment issues.

This is timely because my SIL will be making her first post-baby trip home this weekend, and it'll be the first time I'll get to see my in-laws interacting with their daughter and granddaughter on their turf. It's basically the moment I've been waiting for, to see whether or not they treat us equally (as in, all other mothers suck and only my MIL knows what she's doing), or unequally (as in, my SIL has done more in 2 months of being a mother than I have done in 2 years and will ever do in my entire maternal life). My money's on the latter, but you never know. My MIL is full of surprises, and I think she has a hard time comprehending the fact that a novice mother (even her own beatified daughter) could know more than she does. The flawed logic here is that my SIL is in the trenches with her baby every day, and knows that baby better than anyone else in the world, and is learning everything she needs to learn--and more--as she goes. Either way, it'll be an interesting weekend.

Anyway, thanks, for the kind words, Miss Annessa! They meant a lot!