It's never pretty when Fun Sink starts casting judgements, but she can't help it. It's part of her very nature. She just can't stop herself.
We had a family wedding for an unconventional couple tonight. The bride and groom were both over 55; the wedding was at 10 o'clock at the house they've renovated together over the past 5 years. It was a different kind of wedding--it started with a party, the wedding was in the middle, and there was more party after. Anyone who wanted to be a bride's attendant could show up wearing purple. I liked it. As long as people's weddings make them happy, I don't judge. It doesn't matter to me if a couple doesn't do everything by the book--I actually prefer it that way, because it tells me people are interesting and not afraid to break the rules.
As you can imagine, it matters a great deal to Fun Sink if a couple doesn't do everything by the book. For someone who puts so much importance on obligation, any slightly-out-of-the-ordinary event is an abomination.
She was making snide comments the whole night. She didn't like the pre-party concept; the evening was too long. She was "going to turn into a pumpkin." (I hate anyone who goes around saying that). It was too hot in there. It was too hot outside. When 25 bridesmaids in purple came down and lined the outside staircase for the ceremony, she made a rude comment about the how much weight the staircase could hold. She wondered aloud if the bride didn't know that entering down a staircase is every bride's nightmare? (It was actually sweet--she greeted each attendant on the staircase with a hug and kiss. It was meaningful, and it was fine because they could help her with her dress as she walked). When the bride's 90-year-old mother was siezed by the moment and decided to walk up 5 steps to greet her daughter--because it really was a seize-the-moment kind of wedding--Fun Sink was all "Why on earth is Aunt Sylvia going up those steps?" when the reality was that it was a beautiful thing to do, a beautiful moment, and, like the bride herself, Aunt Sylvia was surrounded by family and friends who could help her navigate a few steps. The moment was worth the trouble, something Fun Sink could never understand. She was incredulous when the couple's dog was the ring bearer. Everyone thought it was cute, and the dog did fine. Dogs are not unheard of in wedding ceremonies. It's not THAT shocking. That sort of thing gives a wedding a personal touch. The dog put Fun Sink over the edge.
Don't get me wrong, girls--I'm all in favor of catty comments if the situation applies. But this situation didn't warrant it--it was the joyful union of two former high school sweethearts who found love later in life, and, yes, they were former hippies so it may not have been the wedding you or I would have chosen. But Fun Sink needs to shut her cake hole about it. Fun Sink would find it morally wrong to dish with friends over a bottle of wine and some cheese--when a catty remark would be perfectly appropriate; idle gossip and trash talk are beneath her. It's more her style to mar a joyous occasion with b*tchiness. It must be hard work to do so much judging and b*tching about everything. It's certainly exhausting to listen to.
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