I love being an adult for a lot of reasons, and one of the biggest ones is that I get to choose my own friends, instead of being stuck with whatever people happen to be in my class at school. I prefer interesting ones, who enjoy food and wine at local restaurants, and bring their own hilarious perspectives to our conversations. I enjoy each and every one of you girls, and I'm thankful that I have such interesting, fun friends.
I feel like my time is so, so limited--I don't get to do half of the stuff I want to do with you girls. Even chatting on the phone is next to impossible. I know it's just my phase of life and I'll eventually have more time to devote to social outings and YWC events (I hope), but the point is I feel like I'm already stretched to the limit with the people I find interesting. I really, really, really don't have room in my life for the boring ones.
And I am an awful person, because I have a high school friend who's moving back to town, and I don't know what to do about her. She bored me to death even back then, but she's sweet and I do like her. She would not survive 30 seconds in a Classic Cocktail hour, bless her heart. Bringing her into the group is not an option.
I am having an existential crisis over this and Mr. Twinkle does not understand, and I guess I should expect that Mr. Obligation would not be much help in this situation. Not hanging out with anyone from high school is a luxury I have taken for granted all these years, apparently. Now I'm going to be thrust back into that boring, mind-numbing East End BS. I will probably end up drinking a strawberry daiquiri out of a footlong fluorescent glass at a TGI Friday's before all is said and done, and I'm just really, really not ready to go to that place, either literally or figuratively.
I feel guilty because this girl is twice divorced (I'm guessing here...all I have to go on is one "I'm moving back" text message received at 9:30 tonight) and she probably doesn't have a whole lot of girlfriends here as she hasn't lived here since high school. I do have a lot of girlfriends, but I know she could not hang with the group. I could sponsor her for YWC, but she's the kind of girl I'd have to take care of all the time, and the beauty of YWC to me is that it's a safe space--I can go there, mingle with my friends, talk to everyone, and not have to worry about if someone's having a good time or not because all of you are big girls who can take care of yourselves at a party. If she does have friends, they're from my high school, and I assure you they're no one I have any desire to hang out with.
I just don't have the time to deal with it, and it makes me feel awful. I should want to be her friend and be willing to invite her along, but I selfishly don't want to babysit. As it is, it's just one more thing to deal with. It's hard enough to balance my children and my social life, and this will cut into one or the other of those things as she's not going to blend seamlessly into the group. It's just one more obligation, and the guilt that obligation brings with it.
Thanks for letting me vent...P.S. I loved Julep's Bronie post. That picture I posted is awesome but I still have no idea who the guy is! Perhaps my new old high school friend will remember, but, sad to say, I'm not sure she'd get the humor of it. I am awful. Awful. But it's true--she wouldn't.
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