So I had a bit of a revelation today, and I think I have a way to get Fun Sink's panties all in a wad about how she can't control our lives without going to the time, energy, and expense of having a fourth pregnancy/fourth child. Because, say what you will about the benefits of private education or the problems with the local public school system, the biggest and most beautiful reason I have for making an unconventional choice is upsetting good old Fun Sink, my children's aspiring educational guardian.
Y'all know that I have been obsessing about schools for awhile now, and now that Ms. Twinklette is in the fours class (one year before kindergarten, when elementary school careers are made or broken), it is time for me to do some serious freaking out. But actually I'm not freaking out at all. I don't want to send her into a huge system where she is just a number and an (undoubtedly) high test score to some bureaucrat. I'm actually really drawn to the smaller hippie-type schools, like Waldorf, St. Francis, and the absolutely adorable Hayfield Montessori. Do you know how much Hayfield Montessori would upset Fun Sink? She would have a conniption fit.
And I know the key is to to start the process and make the decision without ever involving Fun Sink. I'm not saying I love Hayfield, because I have some reservations about mixed-age classes, but I am saying we need to get our sh*t together and know exactly what we like and don't like about the schools before Fun Sink even knows the wheels are in motion. I would like to have the decision made and the papers signed and the first tuition check mailed (if we go private) before Fun Sink ever has a chance to know that we're looking at all. Because you know that she will try to influence Mr. Twinkle on this, and you know he will listen to her because of her distinguished career as a cranky schoolmarm. I happen to think it's best of we make the decision without her input, like most parents have to do. (The ones she has any influence over inevitably end up sending their children to Wilder, and probably signing over custody rights as well).
I was already starting the vetting process, but today I realized that this is just one more way I can upset that judgmental old b*tch. I don't have to have another kid! Now there's a whole new way to get a rise out of Fun Sink. Before I'd have a child without consulting her. Now I can choose a school without consulting her. It's so simple and so beautiful, and it's going to be such a big drama when it goes down. But, as I said, I hope to have a document signed in blood before we make the announcement to her.
Big ups to the crappy JCPS school system, for stressing everyone out so much that it's perfectly acceptable to decide about elementary school while your kid's still in preschool, without your MIL knowing. Seriously, school board, with your myopic diversity agenda, low performing schools, and outdated ideas: you rock.
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