Baby B has RSV, so we skipped ballet class in favor of snuggling up for a little Downton Abbey viewing party. (Yes, Julep...this is the life of a girl mama). And I totally realized something: I am the Lady Edith of Mr. Twinkle's family. My SIL is, of course, Lady Mary. No one would ever consider her a Mary in real life, which is why being Edith to her Mary within the family is even harder to tolerate.
I've never considered myself an Edith in my real life...I don't have sisters to compare myself with, so, while I like the saga of the Crawley sisters, I can't personally identify with anyone but their mother, Cora. Anyway, in my normal day-to-day life, I don't feel like an Edith because some people (Mr. Twinkle, my family, you all) seem to like me and want me around, and I also have much better taste in men. But I realized that, to Fun Sink, I am totally Edith. Always lacking what she wants me to be, always less than. Never quite as good as Mary; always desperate to prove her worth but never measuring up or even being given the chance to rise to the occasion.
And I think that is why it's so hard for me to even go over there. When I have to, I consider it a study in humility. I go about my life, doing my thing, considering myself an equal to the people I see. And then I go over there, and suddenly everyone's treating me like Edith. It's very jarring. And then I leave, and I'm me again.
Thank goodness.
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