Lola's Lament

Today I am crusty. This morning I was leveled by the bureaucracy that is Walgreens. The sheer fact that I am leaving on an international jet plane tomorrow and I was at Walgreens today with the urgent need to purchase tampons and Claritin D had already put me in a foul mood. But my Walgreen's experience pushed me over the edge. One item over which I was virtually neutral in needing to purchase was what began the downward spiral.

I needed Venus razor blades. Did you know these are kept behind a lock-and-keyed case? The notice advised me that I need only ask any Walgreen's associate for assistance. What is unsaid in this advice is that one needs to hover and wait for the Walgreen's associate to finish her conversation before requesting her service. But even after the razors are freed from behind the case, the customer is not permitted to put them in her basket; "You're not allowed to carry these around the store. I'll put them up front until you are finished shopping." Huh? Because decked out in my double-strand pearls, pencil skirt, and ferragamo pumps, I am clearly a razor blade thief in disguise. The only people permitted to carry Venus razor blades through this store are wearing standard-issue, blue bibs. Okay, fine.

The only dilemma to this mandate is that, as Twinkle has pointed out, Claritin D may only be obtained from behind the pharmacy counter, after providing government issued photo id and confirming that one understands some federal code provision about truthiness. Moreover, the pharmacy counters are most often found in the far, back corner of any store. So with my box of tampons, I headed on back to the counter. But here's something I didn't know: Walgreens will not allow you to walk through the store with a box of Claritin D, either. You must buy it at the pharmacy counter.

So therein lay the infuriating bureaucratic dilemma - my razor blades can't leave the front of the store and my Claritin D must be purchased in the back. And because I had cramps and nasal congestion, I was in no mood to be generous of spirit. Instead, I told the pharmacist he needed to go get me my razor blades from Frumpy McBlueBib at the front of the store and ring up my purchases all at once. Neither sweet nor polite, I was successful in leaving the store with tampons, and both Venus razor blades and Claritin D, with only one receipt. My potential Walgreens crime spree was averted.

However, my triumph was short lived as I pulled into the parking lot that is the active construction zone of my employer and dodged two front loaders and a cement truck just walking to my office (in the aforementioned nice pumps which were never intended to be worn through gravel and over rebar). *grouse and grumble*

Post script - I took my Claritin D hit upon my arrival and am now beginning to feel the effects, so things are looking up. But Walgreen's can still suck it.