Julep: I Return

Thanks for holding up the blogging for the past month or two, Twinks and Dibbs. I haven't spent a full week in the office since mid-August ... and actually won't this week either, I have to head to my usual Mountain City destination on Friday. But for the first few days of this week, I will be back here at the desk and I am determined to make some blogworthy contributions.

So let's start off by returning to my best-used theme: my MIL and her shopping habits. First off, there is a kitschy ... something (a box? a faux bag?) made of lacquered cardboard decorated with Halloween motifs by Thai children for 10 cents a day currently sitting on my kitchen island. I would put it someplace more appropriate but I don't know what it is, so I don't know where it should go. And I am afraid to ask Mr-Mama because I don't want to encourage her, or to have her ask if I like it. I suggested to Mr J that the most appropriate place for it was the St Vincent de Paul collection truck at the church last weekend, but he thought not. Unclear whether he thought the good churchfolk would think the decorations were Satanic or just too ugly for resale.

Meanwhile, I made the mistake of telling Mr-Mama that I need some new clothes. I have a few targeted areas that need boosting (perhaps LoLa would like to go shopping with me sometime soon). She took this as a blanket invitation to go spend lord knows how much money at the Macy's. Seriously, I think she bought everything in my size on the clearance racks ... which was incredibly kind and generous of her, BUT.

Y'all so graciously gave up your time last year to help me with the Closet Purge, and you know one main theme was to remove all the articles of clothing I have accumulated over the years from other people, as gifts or hand-me-downs, that simply do not fit or flatter me. Well, Mr-Mama has a tendency to buy me things that she would be drawn to for herself. It's not that her taste is bad - it isn't - it's that she has an exactly opposite figure of my own. She is tall and pear-shaped. I am short and top-heavy.

I need jackets that stop at the hip and have some waist definition, skirts that graze the knee, and square, sweetheart, or wrap necklines. Instead I now have a new suit with a long straight jacket and mid-calf skirt - and a new casual blouse with all sort of metallic adornment around the round neckline. Because if there's one thing I need, it's added weight and bulk in the bosom area.

I don't want to tell this woman I just don't like what she picks out, but I have got to find better ways of saying "no" to her about the wardrobe. She's totally shutting down my usual tactful go-to's of fit and price, because she will alter everything and she won't let me pay her. I know, I know - what a problem, right?