Twinkle: Just Wasted a Twix on a B*tch

So, there's this girl on my street, Kelly. I really, really don't know what her problem is but after I hung out with her and another neighbor, Ali, one morning and tried to friend her on Facebook, she never friended me back. This was last spring, and after our initial meeting that day we have never hung out again, she never accepted my friend request, and she has gradually stopped even waving to me as I drive down the street.

I don't know what I did, other than say her kid was cute and her job was cool, and we had some mutual friends, too. No clue, but to tell you the truth I haven't spent too much time worrying about it because I have lots of friends and I learned a long time ago that everyone doesn't like everyone and that's OK, especially when you're an adult and get to choose who your friends are.

Well, it's trick-or-treat tonight, and when her crew came to my house, she wasn't with them. I went outside to talk to Ali (who is nice, and whom Kelly is, unfortunately, very good friends with) and Kelly came up like 10 minutes later. I have no idea if that was personal or not, but she had the chutzpah to come up to me without so much as a howdoyoudo and say, "I need something without nuts." That b*tch. I mean, how dare she not even say hello but just start putting demands my candy bowl?! And if I wanted to be draconian about it, I would point out that I'd already given candy to her daughter at my front door--and the daughter mentioned no nut allergy. Kelly was essentially double-dipping in my Halloween candy after 6-months of acting rude to me, but, whatever. Who really cares?

I held up a Twix, with a look on my face that said, "WTF do you call this, b*tch?" (The bowl WAS Snickers-heavy, because I had given a lot of the nut-free candy to Twinklette's school party, but there were still plenty of nut-free options). She was all, "Twix?" like there might actually be a possibility that Twix bars have nuts.

I'm sorry, but if you grew up in America, and I'm pretty sure she did, you know that chocolate, cookie, and caramel comprise a Twix bar. So that b*tch needs to drop the nuts act. I can't promise that Twix bars are not processed at a facility that also processes foods containing peanuts, but I can say with confidence that no Twix I have ever eaten has had nuts in it, so b*tch needs to step off.

Now I'm thinking I wasted a Twix on her and I sort of want my Twix back.