Got a phone call yesterday from Mr. J's Judgy Grandma. She wanted to make sure we knew we are supposed to come to their country club on Sunday morning for the annual Mr-Family Christmas brunch.
In theory, they do this every year so that Mr-J's youngest aunt (the one who got drunk and made the scene at our rehearsal dinner) can come in town with her husband and kids and see everyone for the holiday, since they live a few hours away and spend Christmas with her husband's family. Mr-Mama told me today that Young Aunt is not coming this year because of some long story about getting their kid's stuff home from college before he goes on foreign study. So it will be only the Mr-family who live in town - the Mr-Grands, Mr. J's immediate family, his older aunt and her family (Stripper Boots Cousin and Baby Mama Cousin plus hubby and baby) - exactly the same people we'll be seeing on Christmas day for dinner at Mr-Mama's house. One might think we could skip the country club this year (particularly since I don't much care for these people). But no, Judgy Grandma will not allow it. She wants the brunch, so brunch there will be.
The other thing she wants is a gag gift exchange. This is not for the older generations - just for the grandkids, all of whom are over 21 and none of whom really enjoy this little ritual. It's never entirely clear whether it is supposed to be a white elephant/ something you have around the house gag gift, or a go out and find something funny for $10 gag gift. One year I received a bar of soap and a roll of toilet tissue, which was at least useful - unlike the stuffed mouse in a kimono that danced to "Kung Fu Fighting," which Mr. J got.
I don't want really someone else's junk cluttering up my house. If this were a beloved tradition that everyone got a kick out of - and everyone participated in, not just the younger generation - I'd deal with it. But it isn't. Mr. J's cousins half-ass it every year. It's annoying. I told Mr. J he is welcome to play along if he wants to, but I intend to group myself with the grown-ups this year. I'm not bringing a gift or participating in the exchange. And boy oh boy won't Judgy Grandma be passive-aggressively mad about it.
Mr-Mama is admiringly envious that I don't kowtow to Judgy Grandma. It's hard for her to flout Mr-Dad's mother - as much as she would love to. Fortunately Mr. J isn't the least bit worried if Judgy Grandma is mad at me. And I couldn't care less.
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