This morning I got blessed out by the boot camp instructor - whom some of y'all know socially, as do I - for my bad attitude, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. I am trying to avoid my knee-jerk reaction to criticism and engage in a little introspection.
Let me first say, I fully respect her fitness. She's got biceps that would make a scrawny teenage boy weep in envy, and you could bounce a quarter off her behind. I also respect her dedication. You don't get her physique without putting in some serious time. And she has done a great job of shaping me up, even with my bad attitude for baggage.
But she is not interested in complaints, even joking ones (and she isn't much one for positive reinforcement, either). By golly, we are supposed to be there at 6 am to exercise with enthusiasm.
I have dragged myself out of bed for boot camp for a good six weeks now, even when I was sick or really tired or had some other halfway-decent excuse not to go. To me, that felt like a victory. But she says I am not giving it my all. And you know, I see her point. I do not have said enthusiasm, and maybe if I were she, it would be frustrating me too.
Here's the bottom line: I don't really want to exercise, I just feel like I ought to do it. I'm not sure I want to achieve my fitness potential. I might be OK with being just fit enough to fend off the diabetes.
I don't know how this is going to pan out. I am going to try attending the rest of the session (3 more classes) with a positive attitude. But she's just so serious about it. If I can't make smart-ass comments while exercising, will there be any fun in it at all?
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