Julep: kids and friends

Here's a quick hit from Mr-Mama Land. She called late last week with an invitation for a cookout on Sunday. I said, "Gee, thanks for the offer but Mr. J will be working at the Music Festival all weekend." She said, "You and Bear could come without him," at which point I was hard-pressed to say "well, we could but I really would rather stay home and eat leftovers in the quiet of my study." I said, "Sure, we can do that."

Mr-Mama explained that the reason for the cookout was because Mr-Sis's friends were in town from Chicago for the Music Festival. I assumed that Mr-Sis and friends planning to spend most of the weekend at the Festival, weren't all that interested in Sunday night's headliners, and thought it might be nice to have a casual dinner somewhere so they could sober up before turning in early and heading home to Chicago first thing Monday.

Mr-Mama called back on Saturday morning to say the cookout was off (to my secret relief). Evidently Mr-Mama had planned to have dinner at 4 pm but that wasn't early enough as Mr-Sis and friends were planning to go to the Festival on Sunday and the music started at 3:30. The friends are sticking around today and they are going with Mr-Sis on the Bourbon Trail. Mr-Mama said she really couldn't manage dinner on Monday night because she has a big golf day on Monday. But here's the weird part: she was all grumpy about it.

Leaving aside the idea that one cannot cook dinner (mostly grilling) on Monday evening because one is playing golf that day - here's what I realized from all of this. The cookout idea was generated entirely by Mr-Mama, not by Mr-Sis or her friends. Mr-Sis was trying to be polite and come up with some way to squeeze it into the weekend schedule, but it really didn't fit; Mr-Mama got cut from the agenda and she got pissy. To which I can only say: Lady, get your own friends.

These Chicago friends have spent time with the Mr-Parents in the past, but they aren't that close. I'm sure we all have a friend or two who would be sorry to miss out on seeing our parents if they came through town -- Mr-Sis has a college roommate who was teasingly referred to as their other daughter; I am very fond of my own BF's parents, they're on my Christmas card list but you know, when I go to Charlotte to visit her, I rarely see her parents. I doubt they have their feelings hurt over it. More importantly, I'm sure they would never dream of demanding that I come by for a meal while I'm in town. It's hard enough to plan a trip to see my friend, let alone wedge her parents into it.

I hope that my kids make friends whom I enjoy. But I hope that when I am pushing 60 I am still looking to you girls for fun evenings, not expecting my kids' friends to provide my social life.