Julep: Bright and early

I got to the office at 6:20 am. Why? Because my dear darling husband, light of my life, decided to wake me up at 3:45 am as he was coming to bed. He did not merely accidentally bump the mattress when sneaking upstairs after having fallen asleep on the couch. Oh no. He spoke to me. And not only did he speak to me, he kept on talking until I answered him.

Has this man forgotten everything that we learned in Freshman Marriage? I must not be awoken after 3 am on a work night. I am a very good sleeper in my first deep sleep. He can come to bed anytime before 2 or 2:30 am and have no fear that I will wake up. But I'm also a good waker. And once I've moved into a lighter sleep stage, if something (someone) wakes me up the rest of my night is shot to shit. We spent a long time on this lesson back in the first year course! We should not need to repeat this remedial material now that we have moved into Graduate Marriage Studies!

Apparently Mr. J fell asleep on the couch, and when he got up to stagger upstairs, he realized that Brown Dog had had some tummy trouble of the poo variety. (I suspect he stepped in it.) And he cleaned it up. Good on him. I would have been happy to praise him to the skies for this good husbandry if he had waited until 7 am to tell me about it, but I just don't see back-patting over basic house hygiene as something I need to wake up for.

Apparently unsatisfied by my continued silence, he wanted to warn me to wear shoes when I went downstairs in the morning, in case she had had more issues. "Honey! Honey, did you hear me? Honey! Be sure to wear your shoes when you go downstairs, okay? Honey? Honey, are you listening?"

Honey. The Post-It note is a wonderful invention that can be used for a hundred helpful purposes. One of them is the hand-off of information between the Night Shift and the Early Riser. God gave us a bathroom mirror. Use it. Do not wake my @$$ up at 3:45 in the morning unless there is a looming act of God that requires the family to relocate to the bomb shelter in the basement or someone is actively suffering from a dire illness that I can treat. Are we clear on that? 'K Thx Bye.

I warned him that if I were still lying awake at 5 am, I was going to get up and come to the office. He is on his own with Babycakes this morning. And I don't feel bad about it.

P.S. ... Twinks, congrats on the new addition! She's darling! Hoping to stop by the hospital with Dibbs later today.