Twinkle: Is This A Cultural Issue?

So I asked Mr. Twinkle about this tonight, because I noticed that the prevailing atmosphere in his family is one where children run around acting like children, and each one has at least three adult family members just straight-up b*tching them at any (or every) given moment. We haven't had time to discuss this yet in-depth, as he's wrapping up a few things from work, but I asked him if, when he was a child, everyone in the family b*tched at him all the time. He said he didn't remember acting like that. Well, they were just acting like children, so if what he said was true, I guess it confirms my theory that he was born an old man. But I suspect he did act like a child at some point in his childhood, and when he did his mother and other adult family members beat it right out of him.

It is a constant chorus of "Twinklette, don't do this," and "Sophie, don't do that," coming from at least three different sources at a time. It's just not something I want to be part of--and the hard thing is that I out of everyone should be the one disciplining my children.

If I were them, I'd tune all of it out, and that's exactly what they seem to do. So all the b*tching at them just seems like a big waste of everyone's energy.

It also makes it harder when they really are doing something for which they need to be corrected. Because if they're getting b*tched at for the things that they're really not doing wrong, they're not going to hear the reprimand when they really need to.

I think I'm going to sit down with Twinklette and tell her that, in a setting like that, she needs to listen to me and only me. I do want Twinklette to respect other authority figures, but I'm past caring if Fun Sink's authority is undermined--she undermines it herself with her constant unnecessary corrections, and she's also undermining mine. My opinions about behavior are the only ones that should count--and I honestly believe that when five people correct Twinklette at once, she's more inclined to ignore them and do whatever she wants. All I have to do is come up to her and nicely say, "Could you please use a quiet voice?" (or whatever), and that works much better.

At least I get to be the sweet one--and I do try to discipline her as kindly as I can, as long as asking nicely is working. The one time tonight when I actually did need to reprimand her, I did so firmly--and she listened (and I also had to say to Fun Sink--"I've got it. I've got it.") I'm just not in the mood to suffer fools right now, and it's absolutely exhausting to have to fight through a chorus of nagging voices to get my children to hear me.