Lola: Just Sayinging "No" Diplomatically

As I mentioned to Twinkle not too long ago, I recently joined a local chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution. Truly, it is like the sweetest little old lady sorority you could imagine. They wear pins and ribbons and say an opening ritual before each meeting, which in the case of the DAR is very patriotic and includes the Pledge of Allegiance and the Preamble to the Constitution, followed by a rousing rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner! Moreover, I have to be amused by the fact that this is a new chapter which was recently chartered to be the new, young, and spunky chapter in our dear city. (And I can tell you that the 92-year-old member does seem rather spunky!) To this end they have purposely scheduled all their meetings for evenings and weekends in order to reach out to a new crowd and demographic ~ presumably ladies sort of like me to liven the place up a bit. Nevertheless, that average age is still about 65 – or whatever today’s retirement age is. And in keeping with the idea of preserving history, the topics presented at the last meeting were antique sewing implements and quilting(!). Despite the esoteric nature of both of these (at least to me), I found the discussion really fascinating and kind of fun. And you all know that I am happy to learn something new, particularly in the genre of decorative arts.

This past weekend was a lunch in honor of this chapter’s first year. It was a lovely luncheon with an honest-to-goodness really cool feminist speaker, talking about her efforts to break through glass-ceilings in our Commonwealth’s signature industry. Three cheers for more spunk on display!
Anyway, the reason for this post is because of an awkward interaction I had with one of the women at my table. First off, I understand that the DAR is a haven for women who are totally into the whole genealogy thing. Moreover, I also understand that many of these women have grown up in families where every female member of their family has been a member for generations. (Not at all the case for me.) I admit that I do think it is cool to think I have a great-great x 7 who fought in the Revolutionary War and appreciate that the DAR is in the forefront of national organizations actively preserving American history (and desperately attempting to ameliorate an ugly period of racial insensitivity).

So the fact that much of the discussion at our lunch table centered around the search for family ancestors is not surprising; nor is it surprising that there are more than a few of us who can also trace a few genealogical lines to a confederate soldier or two (given that we are residing south of the Mason-Dixon line). But surely, just because I have a great-great x 4 who died at the Battle of Shiloh fighting for the CSofA, should not lead one to believe I also want to join the Confederate Daughters of America too. Have you seen the OBAMA/BIDEN sticker on my car? But she was pushy. I get that she’s originally from Virginia and her mother was a member and she was a junior member and she is president of a local chapter, but that is just not a heritage I want to embrace. I tried to be polite in questioning her about the controversial nature of celebrating that part of American history, particularly in our city. (She admitted she was surprised how controversial it is here where we live. Uh…really!?!) I also mentioned that in light of where I work, I didn’t know that it would be too appropriate for me professionally. I was unable to assess the temperature at the table based upon the complete silence of everyone else. But now she’s sent me an email inviting me to her CDA luncheon. How does one make it clear that one is not inclined to join such an organization (because state’s rights ain’t the reason for succession) in a manner which is polite and lady-like. Because I am about at the point of saying “Please don’t be ridiculous!”

Fortunately, I know that the DAR is not aligned in that direction and in fact, it recently came under fire by FOX news for removing some Christian references in its chaplain’s prayers, so as to appeal to a broader and growing sector of non-christian membership. (And y'all know I am down with any organization provoking the ire of Fox News!!) Even better is that at the luncheon, I pulled in between two cars – a Volvo station-wagon with an Obama sticker and another car bearing a sticker in support for our U.S. Congressional delegate…who we all love from the bottom of our liberal-leaning hearts. I do not expect that every member of every organization be as liberal as I am. Moreover, I appreciate diversity of thought and ideas...to a degree. So today I am giving Miss Confederate the benefit of the doubt; she’s not from around here and she is probably a little bit dumb. I think a non-response is my friend at this point and will await the next meeting in hopes the solicitations will cease.
Cheers darlings; Or as we would say in my collegiate sorority, “In the Bonds!”