I've decided to try to be more real with Fun Sink. I'm never going to be the perfect one in her eyes (that dubious distinction goes to my sister-in-law), so instead of pretending I have it together all the time, I'm trying to admit the times when I really don't. I guess I'd hoped for a little realness back from her. But, no.
Last night was my turn to host our supper club. Fun Sink graciously offered to take the girls starting at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, but E had a birthday party and A, a friend of the birthday boy's big sister, was invited, too. Fun Sink said she'd take the girls to the party.
Here's my experience as a mother of three: the hardest situations to handle are when all three girls all going in different directions and wanting to do different things. A restaurant is doable, because everyone's relatively contained. Something with planned activities (games or crafts) is fine because their attention is focused on the same thing, and I can hold baby B, and all's well. A birthday party is usually the worst of the worst with all three of them, because A goes off in one direction and E either goes off in a different direction where she'll need to be supervised, or else decides she needs to be held, which would be fine if B didn't need to be held, too.
I told this to Fun Sink. I begged her to leave B with me and come get her after the party. I straight-up told her that taking all three of them would be "miserable." I used the word miserable. In regards to my children. To Fun Sink. I was trying to be straight with her. She said she'd be fine, and I knew as she walked out the door that she had absolutely no idea what she was getting herself into.
When A was asked about the party this morning, specifically about whether or not Bella was there (because you all know that putting Fun Sink alone in a social setting with Bella's mom could spell disaster), A said they had to leave before Bella got there. A few more questions revealed that they left the party before cake and ice cream. Apparently Fun Sink did not last very long in the setting I described as "miserable," yet when I asked her about the party when she dropped off baby B last night, she didn't mention the early departure and said everything went fine.
I feel bad that the girls didn't get to stay at the party the whole time, but I warned Fun Sink about what she was getting into. If she had taken my advice and left baby B, the big girls could have stayed at the party for the whole time. And even if they did leave early, why couldn't Fun Sink just admit that it was all too much to handle? I know the answer, of course--because not only would she be admitting that she can't handle them in a party setting; she'd also be admitting that I was right about it being too much. And the very worst thing for Fun Sink would probably be for me to know that she knows I was right.
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