Julep let me borrow her baby today. She was precious. Also, my toilet started making crazy noises, so I had to call the plumber. We were right in the middle of a bottle when the plumber arrived. Baby was so polite about taking a break to let the plumbers in. The plumbers, ahem.
Mentioned the word, "Grandma."
Now, I don't remember what the man actually said. I just heard, "Grandma."
Let's review.
Grandmas do not: wear Lacoste tank tops.
recite the words to The Breakfast Club.
go to The Mixer and touch all over the hot little waiter.
sing Train songs to the baby.
pick up Darrell at Old Crow.
get a text from said Darrell.
Right? Right? Please say I'm right. Do not remind me (as my mother did) that I could, numerically, be the baby's grandma.
And tell Rod that his name-on-the-shirt-ass can kiss mine if he wants his $95 check. There.
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