Twinkle: OK, So You Could Make a Case That I'm a Bad Daughter-In-Law

I'm feeling a little bit guilty, because tomorrow is the Fourth of July and I'm hosting my family picnic, which is small this year because all the same relatives are all heading to the beach together in about 2 weeks. Meanwhile, Fun Sink and my FIL don't have plans. And I could totally accommodate them, but I just don't want to.

I don't want to deal with their weird dietary issues--refusing to eat anything but vegetables, drinking water, and judging the sh*t out of anybody who does differently is the very definition of the phrase "fun sink." I also don't want their dour personalities ruining my family's jovial good time. And those two can never just shut the hell up about their rabbi or the Jewish community intrigues or all other varieties of bullsh*t that no non-Jewish person wants to hear about. They can't be normal; therefore they can't be allowed to mix with normals.

Also, this is my party; I'm allowed to have a party with my family. I host plenty of parties with just Mr. Twinkle's side of the family (because, as I said, I'm hesitant about letting them interact with new people).

At the same time, they're supposed to be my family, and I do feel bad for not inviting them. I wish I could. I wish they (OK, just Fun Sink) treated me like a member of their family; maybe if she ever did I would be able to overlook the dour attitude and the annoying dietary issues and the constant judgment over things like when someone drinks a Diet Coke. I'm sorry, but if you're judging someone for drinking Diet Coke, you are going to feel out of place in a setting where water itself is looked upon as just another mixer for bourbon.

And what the hell would they eat? The fried chicken I ordered from Kingsley? I'm sure they'd look down their noses at that. What about the (gasp) grilled corn on the cob? The potato salad? My mom's deviled eggs are loaded with mayo. And the dessert table would appall them: a layered cake with angel food cake and various ice cream and sorbet flavors, banana pudding with real whipped cream (no Cool Whip up in here, biatch), and a s'mores dip involving marshmallow fluff--I know they would not be down with marshmallow fluff.

But I do see it from her perspective, and I'm sure this confirms in her small, closed mind that I'm a horrible person. She can use it to prove to my FIL that I'm really just an evil, son-stealing Jezebel, just like she's always said. I hate to give her the ammunition, and I know she can make a justified argument that I'm not nice, because I am having a family picnic and not inviting her. I'm sure that she sees herself as someone who buys my kids shoes and takes them for the afternoon and does fun things with him, and what thanks does she get from me? I can't even include her in a small family picnic. Y'all know my sister-in-law would have the good manners to do that.

And here's the kicker: I feel bad, but not enough to do anything about it. Because if she's not offended and judging me over this; she'll be offended and judging me over something else. The bad part is that this time I can see her side and I know she has a point. But I just don't care enough to sacrifice my party in the name of making it right.