Julep: three simple rules for dressing my infant daughter

(1) No bedazzling. That means no glitter, sequins, or rhinestones.
(2) No tulle.
(3) No animal prints.

I don't think these are unreasonable guidelines. She's a baby, not a showgirl. And when she's a few years older, my vision is a little darling dressed like Twinkle's girls, not like a contestant on Toddlers and Tiaras. Sure, she can have some cotton onesies and leggings for at home wear, or for when she's sleeping - but when she leaves the house I prefer that she wear a dress that meets the three rules above.

Mr-Mama seems to have a different vision. The Seagull was at her house for much of the weekend while Mr. J and I celebrated our anniversary in Chicago (and Lord bless her for it). She came home on Monday wearing this:

Note the rhinestones. I wasn't crazy about the ponies with the pink hair, either. But the denim jumper soon faded into relative insignificance when I saw the special present Mr-Mama had sent home with her:



Note the leopard print ruffles at sleeve and hem, covered with a glittery tulle overlay. Words fail me.

You know if the Gull isn't wearing that ensemble come Thanksgiving, my MIL is going to be mortally offended. You know what else? About twenty minutes after my MIL arrives at the house, there's going to be a catastrophic diaper blowout. Yup. It's going to trash the leopard-print pants AND the top. What a shame!

I refuse to allow my child to spend the holiday looking like a former school teacher turned cougar who's retired to Del Boca Vista.