Sigh.
First of all, I had to see MIL yesterday at drop off for stupid Hebrew School, which I hate, but what can you do? I think learning Hebrew is worthwhile, but they don’t do much learning of Hebrew there, so all the kids in Hebrew School also have to be privately tutored. It’s actually a huge waste of time for everyone, so why don’t we just skip Hebrew School and do the private tutoring? Yesterday was a three-ring circus, as every day after school is. I dropped Youngest and Middle off, and told MIL that I’d be picking up Youngest in a half hour because she had too much homework today, and when I picked up Youngest I’d be also dropping off Eldest, who works there with the little kids. MIL’s reaction was to say, “I can’t keep up with all the players here.” No shit, MIL. That’s why I have asked you repeatedly to let me in on the plans you make with them, so that I can keep up with all the players here, because keeping up with all the players here is literally my only job.
Middle came home from Hebrew School with an envelope carrying $350. These were, presumably, the proceeds from the bracelets MIL has made and sold. Sigh. I have no idea where this money is from, who paid, if we owe anyone bracelets, what people paid for them. I just have $350 cash, which I guess will be a nice Christmas influx of cash on hand, but, as I said before, I really wanted to make the donations in $100 increments because it’s just easier to keep track of that way.
I went to an event last night with a couple of friends. It was a Jewish philanthropy event at a certain store we all love in Butchertown, where a jewelry designer from Chicago would be speaking. I heard “wine” and “shopping” and was in, and I heard “Jewish jewelry designer” and thought it would definitely be something to make fun of. I was wrong about it because this jewelry was gorgeous. It turns out this girl is an actual diamond cutter with Jewish Moroccan heritage, and it was fine jewelry that was both classic and modern at the same time. I would wear it, and I’m picky. She spoke about her family’s story, her business, and the antisemitism she has faced since Oct. 7.
All that to say…one of Husband’s cousins was at the event. She told me she’d gotten her bracelets and she loves them! They were packaged so beautifully! I had no idea she had ordered bracelets. MIL took the order, made the bracelets, packaged them, and sold them to her. I guess her payment was part of the $350 in cash I received yesterday?
The most infuriating aspect of this is what MIL is taking away from Middle. She’s sending a message that Middle can’t do it herself, that MIL can do it bigger and better. Husband thought it was sufficient to say to MIL, “You know the bracelets are $5, right?” And “Middle has a certain way she wants the bracelets to look.” MIL has trained him (and his sister, and everyone) to talk to her, and to dance around any issue that might upset her. I do believe she thinks she is helping. If we said, “Please back off and let Middle lead this,” no matter how nicely, she would hear, “Stop helping.”
I have no idea what to do. Husband won’t talk to her and can’t do it effectively when he tries. I make it worse every time I try to have an interaction like this. I want to stand up for Middle but I don’t want to ruin her relationship with MIL over this. Is there a more difficult and impossible woman on earth? I truly believe God put her in my life to help me work on my patience and mercy, and MIL certainly tests me on those every chance she gets.
Tonight there is some pro-Israel event at an evangelical church. Middle is selling bracelets there, and has worked hard between school, sports, Thanksgiving, and everything else to build up her stock of bracelets. What are the odds MIL shows up with hundreds of bracelets that she made herself? I have a dinner for church, so I’m not going, but I know how this is going to go down before it even happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment