Twinkle: Clearly My MIL Needs Jesus

 

Tonight is the Christmas dinner for the women in my church. A friend from church asked me to make one hundred little candy bags with festive ribbon for each place setting. I just went to where the dinner will be held, at one of the local country clubs, to put the favors at each place setting so that everything would be set up for tonight.

Before doing this, I was thinking about bailing on the dinner itself, because I really want to support Middle and her bracelet venture tonight at the evangelical church. I was debating it while setting the candy bags on all the tables, and then I remembered that going to the evangelical church event would also mean seeing MIL, and then I made the connection about setting the tables.

You all know that, on every holiday, my MIL will invite every woman and girl in the family to come set up the tables, except me. I have asked to be included, and offered to help. I want to be part of helping. There have been a very few times when she gave me assignments, like flower arrangements, and then decided to do it herself instead without telling me. I was thinking about that as I put out the candy bags.

How is it that a bunch of Arab and Serbian grandmothers are nicer to me than my own MIL, even (especially) with my last name being what it is? My friend asked me to make the candy bags, and get them there, and then she let me do it. She didn’t tell me how. She didn’t make different candy bags at the last minute because she figured I wouldn’t do it. She didn’t say, “Never mind about the candy bags. We don’t need them as fancy as you’re going to make them.” (And for the record, they were a normal degree of fancy.) She trusted me. I got them done. She has one less thing to do and I get to feel more invested in the event because I actually helped.

Any time there is a dinner, someone has to get there early and set the tables. It’s such a normal thing to want to help with that I was halfway finished before I realized, “Hey—look at me, helping set the tables before an event.” It’s something I’ve wanted my MIL to let me in on for years, but MIL makes a sport out of keeping me out. The church ladies actually like me, want my help, and trust me. So, I do support Middle’s bracelet efforts, and she knows that. But tonight I’m showing up for the church ladies who have shown me kindness and acceptance.