Julep: I hate sweatpants.

Apologies to Mr. Lola, whose halfway cool sweatpants I have not seen. Perhaps they would escape my loathing.

Mr. Julep has a pair of sweatpants I would like to light on fire. They are navy blue, with elasticized waist and ankles and ... well, they're sweatpants. I hate them. Just last weekend, he was looking for them and I suggested that he put on some nice flannel pj pants instead. He said, "Those are fine, but I like my sweatpants because I don't have to change my pants if I have to run up to the store for something."

OK, point taken. But how long does it take to put on a pair of real pants? Thirty seconds, tops?

Why voluntarily assume the uniform of trailer trash? Nobody looks good in sweatpants. Even worn around the house, sweatpants are ugly and shapeless. They may be comfortable, but so are pajama pants, which come with the added assurance that you will not be tempted to rush out of the house without changing into some decent attire.

That is all.