Twinkle: Disrespect

Mr. Twinkle and I went to Willow Lake Tavern to see the Key West song stylings of our friend's dad last night (I'm sure you all saw her Facebook invitation to come out and join the fun). Twinklette stayed with MIL, who's home alone for a few weeks as FIL is up in Connecticut, helping with SIL's transition back to work.

So when we dropped off Twinklette last night, MIL pulled out this dvd of Pinocchio and asked if Twinklette could watch it. I totally felt put on the spot, but I do let Twinklette watch movies on special occasions--usually when she's sick and needs to rest--as long as I don't feel like the characters in the movies are shamelessly marketed to young children. I felt kind of violated, and I left wishing my MIL would just respect my wishes instead of pushing, pushing, pushing the limits, but I consented. (Also, the weather is beautiful...why not play outside?) But I'm a reasonable person. I really don't think Pinocchio is evil incarnate...plus he's totally from the '30. I don't see his little wooden features gracing diapers, sippy cups, and toothbrushes very often these days. So I said it was fine.

So this morning we went to get Twinklette, who immediately started chatting when we started driving. Her commentary went something like this: "We tried to watch Sesame Street but I don't think Sesame Street is on so we watched something else. We watched Dora." Of course I freaked out and said, "What did you just say? Did you just say 'Dora'?!?!?" (I have successfully hidden Dora's existence from Twinklette up until now). My reaction was such that Twinklette immediately rescinded her earlier statement and wouldn't say anything else, so I didn't get any more deets. I plan to show her a picture of Dora tomorrow and ask if she looks familiar, and if Twinklette knows her name and ever saw her on tv. I have my ways of getting answers.

So, and excuse my Shakespeare here, but what the fuck? First MIL goes behind my back to get Mr. Twinkle's permission for Twinklette to watch Sesame Street, and now she's translating that (and my consent for Twinklette to watch a classic film) into an excuse to show my child Dora the Explorer? I also saw a Winnie the Pooh ABCs dvd at her house, and y'all know about the burning hatred I feel for cartoon Winnie. (I have nothing against the books).

I know that my MIL is an educator and that she somehow thinks that gives her license to know what's best for everyone else's child. (I dread the day Twinklette actually has a teacher like her). But I cannot understand why she won't respect my wishes on this. Mr. Twinkle said, "Why don't you give her a copy of Buy Buy Baby and let her see why you feel that way?" And I could do that, but I really don't feel like trying to convince her of my point of view. The bottom line is this: Mr. Twinkle and I are Twinklette's parents, and we get to make certain decisions that we think are best for our child. It is not my MIL's place to question them, or push them, or go behind our backs to advance her own agenda, and I shouldn't have to explain our reasoning to her. She knows we hate the idea of Twinklette watching tv, and yet she pushes for it anyway. She knows we don't approve of licensed characters, and yet there's an Elmo doll in their basement that they know I don't want Twinklette to play with. Why not just cooperate? Why not just trust our decisions as parents?

And, really, is a stupid Winnie The Pooh ABCs dvd something she really wants to push us on? What adult in this day and age says, "You know, that child over there really doesn't watch enough tv...if I don't go behind her mom's back and show her that Winnie the Pooh dvd she'll never learn her alphabet!" Nobody--least of all a teacher--thinks tv is so important as an educational tool. Basically, MIL thinks my rule is stupid and wants to break it however she can. End of story.

Well, she can keep trying me, but I'm not going to back down on this. At the end of the day, I am Twinklette's mother, and the final say about what Twinklette does (and who babysits her) is mine.