I hope none of you will think I'm a bad mother when I say that I am currently concocting ways to torture my child. He refused to sleep during the dark hours last night, and I am determined to get him straightened out today. If anyone has suggestions on how to keep a sleepy baby awake all day (other than a walk, running errands, and a bath - which he hates) please pass them along.
But that is not what I came here to say. I must vent. Y'all know we did not have much time to prepare for the arrival of Babycakes. The nursery walls were already cream and the carpet blue, and there is a cozy yellow chair in there, so I bought yellow gingham crib sheets and skirt and curtains. Blue, cream, yellow. Very sunny, not cutesy or babyfied but I was OK with that. I prefer a minimalist style of decor.
Well, while we were stranded Across The River waiting for the paperwork to come through to bring Babycakes home, Mr-Sister was staying at our house with the pets. (So sweet of her, truly - a huge help.) She asked if I would like for her to paint a sailboat mural on the wall. One of her friends did something similar for her own baby a few months back and Mr-Sis loved it. And yes, the walls were bland. So I said that would be great, Mr-Sis accepted direction on which wall to paint on, and it is indeed really cute.
But it didn't stop there. Oh no, not the Mr-Family. Mr-Mama got in on the act, and by the time we got home from Across The River, the nursery had acquired two sailboat picture frames, two anchor-shaped wall pegs, a model boat, a stool with a compass rose on the top, and a full-sized oar with sea-themed appliques stuck to it and painted letters spelling out Babycakes dangling from it. OK, the nautical theme is established.
"Tell me if it's too much," said Mr-Sis, "I know how we can be." It's cute, I said, but we're done now. Well, she said, her mother was looking for a sailboat-themed lamp. I like the lamp that's in here, I said - it's a pretty little crystal lamp with low light and it's perfect for a baby's room. In case telling Mr-Sis were not enough, I told Mr. J: you had better tell your mom not to hunt for a lamp. I do not want any more themed articles in this room. We could use a night light, or perhaps a yellow throw rug, and I'd love to have some yellow cushions for the rocking chair. If she wants to shop for something, tell her to look for those things.
For three days, I reminded Mr. J: tell your mom not to buy a sailboat lamp. Tell her. I know his mother. I said: no lamp, and if she brings it here, I will tell her to her face that I do not want it and she can take it home. Finally, after copious nagging, Mr. J called his mother yesterday. Well, of COURSE she had already bought a sailboat lamp. She spent two days hunting for it and it is darling. Mr. J refused the lamp, hung up the phone, and accused me of hurting her feelings over something that is "no big deal."
Well excuse the h-ll out of me, but it's a big deal to me. I have accepted the seven useless articles already foisted upon me with good grace, but I am not going to remove an object which I chose and which I like in order to enable Mr-Mama to fill the whole g-dd-mn room with sailboats. That woman goes crazy with a theme. Every single inch of the room where we sleep on her boat has a lighthouse stitched, painted, sculpted, or appliqued on it and although I think it's ridiculous, it's her boat. This is MY g-dd-mn house, and MY g-dd-mn baby, and I will not be compelled to allow my in-laws to decorate his room to their taste. I draw the line here.
I am sorry her feelings were hurt, but IF before she spent two days shopping she had bothered to ASK "would you like a lamp?" I would have said, "no thank you, I like the lamp that is in there now." She could have spent her two days looking for something we actually need, like the rocker cushions.
My mother wanted to buy us things for the baby. My mother took me to Target, let me fill the whole cart with things I needed, and paid for it all. THAT is the kind of help that helping's all about. Mr-Mama doesn't want to help, she just wants to shop. She can do that on her own time.
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