Twinkle: Swapping Germs

The Familia Twinkle has all had this ragged TB-esque cough for the past two months, and guess what: families pass sh*t around. They also build up immunities to each others' infections. That's just the way it works, and it's why I never worry about sharing germs with my peeps. (Unless of course it involves vomiting and fever, in which case I will break out the Clorox wipes like nobody's business).

So tonight we were all over at my in-laws' for dinner and Mr. Twinkle and I were going to share a Diet Coke. This is normal for us. We always share Diet Cokes and desserts. It's our thing. So MIL was all, "You all do NOT need to be sharing drinks." Um, MIL, I hate to remind you of this and I know you'd rather not think about it, but I have given birth to your son's two children and I snuggle up with him every night and make out with him (and Lord knows we like to keep things hot and spicy), so I assure you a Diet Coke will not be the only thing we're sharing tonight. Seriously? She should not be telling us not to share a Coke. It is not her business, and does she really want to go there? I doubt it.

At dinner I told a story about how Mr. Twinkle and Twinklette like to negotiate over every little thing (because it's funny how much like him she is--you'd think my MIL would like the theme of that story). Basically one night at dinner the two of them had a philosophical discussion about whether Twinklette had to eat "some" or "a lot." Our child is smart and precocious and I love her for it, and it was cute. MIL goes "And WHY are you negotiating with a three-year-old?" She totally missed the point because she just couldn't resist making it all about our parenting shortfalls. You know what? F*ck that. I like that my kid is precocious, and I like that she can negotiate the sh*t out of her lawyer father. Also, Mr. Twinkle and I do the best we can with her. That's really all anyone does, even self-righteous b*tches like my MIL.

It was the same old thing with Tiny Twinklette, too--she would scream her head off any time I left her sight or if someone else was holding her, and everyone was all, "What's wrong, baby? Don't they feed you?" I went to take her back, the screaming stopped, and it was still a big mystery to everyone why she'd been crying before. When my SIL's daughter said, "Mommy carry me," my MIL just thought that was the cutest and greatest thing ever. But when Tiny screams it's because I don't feed her.

So typical...I just had to vent.