So, today was the sad, sad Thanksgiving luncheon, and the situation is so dire with Mr. Twinkle's uncle that I was actually glad I wasn't the one in charge of the Thanksgiving meal. The insurance company will only pay for ICU for so long, which has forced the family to make some very awful decisions on Thanksgiving Eve/Thanksgiving Day.
So in the midst of all this, I am trying to make Thanksgiving memories for my children. Which is why I planned a nice Thanksgiving dinner for tomorrow--how could I know he'd be removed from the ventilator then? No one could have.
I'm not worried about the turkey and all the fixings that I bought. I just don't want to do the wrong thing, and if I fix everything and it goes uneaten that'll be OK. I'm doing what Mr. Twinkle wants, and Mr. Twinkle said to go ahead and fix everything. He said his parents probably won't want to cook, so maybe they could come over. And of course they can. His mom is a b*tch to me, but I'm not so heartless as to deny her a nice meal and family time with the grandchildren who will surely cheer her up at least a little, as her brother is dying. If she wants to come, she is welcome. If the meal doesn't happen at all because of how the day goes, that's OK too.
But...y'all know me. I planned a nice meal for my family. Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, corn pudding, green bean casserole, a big, decadent chocolate cake that Mr. Twinkle requested from the pages of this month's Southern Living. We will use our nicest dishes and silver; we always do because enjoying our nice things is part of my whole worldview. Someone might find this meal to be feast-like and--dare I say it--fancy.
I planned the meal for just us, but now they're coming and I can try to tone it down all I want, but I know she will only see that I'm trying to be fancy. And I wish that I could just explain myself to her. I like to use my nice dishes on normal days and holidays, not because I'm trying to be all uppity and fancy, but because I believe in making occasions special. My desire for our own Thanksgiving isn't about me trying to take over, but about me trying to make memories for my children. She just takes everything I do the wrong way, and I know this will be more proof to her that I'm just a big snob with no sense of how to act when tragedy strikes. Never mind that I planned this meal weeks ago and she was never invited to it in the first place and is only coming now because I want to help alleviate a little of her pain in this small way. I'm sure she'll take it all wrong, and I wish I could just get it out in the open that I'm actually a good person with good intentions.
No comments:
Post a Comment