Here's where I'm going to kvetch.
Hanukkah is a thorn in my side year after year, not because I object to celebrating Mr. Twinks' beloved (if a bit lacking) winter holiday, but because it is a whole sh!tload of work. It's bad enough that I have to use an Excel spreadsheet to coordinate the eight presents for my three kids, and figure out which night everything's going to be opened so that the size and cost of the presents match up for everyone, but even worse is when I have to buy for all these other people. The random family name drawing (this year I got "Richard," and I had to ask who it was; it's some middle-aged friend of the family's boyfriend) is particularly annoying, because once I'm done with the confusing task of buying for my own kids, I don't want to buy for "Richard," some random aunt, and every kid in the family. And I don't want everyone in the family buying for my kids because Lord knows we have enough toys.
And then there's the shame spiral of contributing to December's materialism, because not only do they get eight nights of presents from us, but they also get Santa Claus, not to mention the showering of Christmukkah gifts from two sets of grandparents who are constantly trying to out-do each other, and who both see the stakes of their competition as being about the kids liking their holiday best. So I have guilt over buying too much and contributing to their already overflowing playroom when there's not a thing in the world they need, but I still feel the intense pressure to make the season magical for them. And how do I do that? Well, I try to do it in lots of ways, but one of the big ones is buying them sh!t.
And now Hanukkah, the bane of my December existence, is interfering with my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. Sure, I thought it was all cute when my kids came home with the "menurkeys" they made at school, but now I'm seeing just what a b!tch this is going to be. For one thing, we can't have our annual just-us Thanksgiving dinner on Friday night, because it's a Friday night during Hanukkah and we have to celebrate with Fun Sink and Mr. Fun Sink. The dinner is supposed to be a tradition just for us that we get to do without hoards of extended family telling us where to be and how to do things; having a Thanksgiving dinner just for us is actually the point of the whole dinner on Friday, because we do Thanksgiving with Fun Sink and crew at lunch on Thursday.
But it's Hanukkah, so we have to invite them (I think this is debatable, but Mr. Twinkle thinks it's not, so we're inviting them). And I guess that would be OK, if Mr. Fun Sink weren't a damn vegan. Part of the whole reason I like to make Thanksgiving dinner on Friday night (which, by the way, is supposed to be just for us--did I mention that?) is that I get to make all my favorite Thanksgiving foods. Those don't include 5 kinds of kale and Brussels sprout salads. Oh, and also, Mr. Twinks thinks that we should incorporate Hanukkah into our Thanksgiving feast. So on top of multiple salads I guess I'm expected to make the recipe for sweet potato latkes with curry that he found on Kveller. Screw the cornbread dressing recipe that has been passed down orally in my family for generations, because it's Thanksgivukkah and we can't deviate from the theme even a little bit, not for even one night out of the endless eight.
Also, Fun Sink gave me a helpful list of all the foods and presents I'm supposed to bring to various Hanukkah events. It actually is helpful, but I just realized that everything on the list is happening this weekend, which means that instead of enjoying the next few days shopping for Thanksgiving foods and cooking at home, I'm going to be making a bunch of extra food that's not Thanksgiving food, and also trying to figure out what the hell to get "Richard."
The good part is that it won't interfere with Christmas this year, but honestly I wish I could just skip over the whole month of December. We always talk about going on a cruise (it would probably be cheaper) and I wish we could but we have too many family obligations to go through with it. And the more we participate in this miserable cycle of gifts and more gifts, the more our kids are going to expect them. I wish I could enjoy the magic of Christmas and Hanukkah (really!) with my kids, but it's impossible because of all that's expected of us by everyone, and the more that we participate, the more we feed into those expectations. That's why our Friday Thanksgiving dinner is so nice and so important to me, but even that will ruined by holiday expectations this year.
OK, rant over. I need to get back to my spreadsheet.
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