Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dibbs: Eccentric Glamour? Not in "Work" County

So here's the story. I'm not supposed to wear heels right now. This edict is getting as much compliance from me as the rule that I'm not supposed to drink alcohol. (When I whine that my hips hurt, feel free to tell me it's my own fault.)

Well, my new secretary, the one I hate because she asked if my parents wanted to be grandparents, felt the need to discuss wardrobe this week. I was wearing a dress and bling-bling flip-flops. I don't like to wear flip-flops with a dress, but I was trying to comply. The secretary exclaimed over the shoes, which was sweet. I explained to her that I really would wear heels with a dress, but I can't wear them right now. She said these fateful words:


"Oh, Dibbs, anything goes."


Anything goes? Absolutely not. You know what never goes? Her navy linen closed-toe slingback flats from 1997. I was stunned for a minute. I recovered with, "No, not really. I'm very picky." She shook her head and walked away. Secretary, sweetheart, let me make this clear: just because you have an above-ground pool in your yard, you are not fabulous. Actually, the pool takes away points.

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