All week long, I have been looking forward to the weekend and a chance to finally, finally sit by the pool ... something that has happened all too few times this summer. Now, of course, yesterday was lovely and today is gray and rainy. C'est la vie. It's still kind of nice to have a quiet Saturday, even if I can't loll poolside. Mr. J is out of town again, but he will be home late tonight so I have the double pleasure of a day to myself to potter around the house and, later, watch The Tudors on DVR - with a day to spend together tomorrow.
Mid-potter, I thought I would check on the blog as we have done so well at keeping it fresh the last couple of days. Twinks, best of luck at your party tomorrow. I hope everything goes smoothly and I'm sure it will; you're a wonderful hostess.
Your post got me thinking about family culture, and how even in families that are organic to the same city (or general vicinity, at least), things can be so different. I remember the first holiday I spent with Mr. J's family, a Thanksgiving before we were even engaged (but already knew we would be). After the meal, I hopped right up and headed into the kitchen to get started with the dishes. In my family, that is what you do. (Well, some people head off to the couch. It is surprisingly not gender-defined. My older sister hates doing dishes, and she doesn't, while an uncle and male cousin are reliable dishwashers.)
Little did I know at the time that Mr. J's mother was, I'm now sure, cringing. Mr-Mama hates to have anyone else clean up her kitchen. I did think it was rather odd that although several people were clearing, only one of Mr J's aunts was in there helping to load the dishwasher. And now, after many meals I have learned that the Mr-Mama just wants you to get out of her kitchen. She will do the dishes when everyone leaves. And that's fine for her and all. But when I have Mr J's family come for a meal, I am always a little disheartened at the huge pile of dirty dishes when they all tramp off ... and I yearn for my mother and sister who would be there with me in the kitchen.
All that is to say, I don't think I really appreciated as a younger girl how much every family has a different culture, about so many little things in addition to the bigger overwhelming things. My family is private, if that makes any sense. We seem to think that if you need help you will ask, and otherwise we will all mind our affairs. Mr. J's family is much closer, not to say all up in each other's business all the time (but if the shoe fits...). But when his family has an issue, the whole fan-damily takes it out and discusses it to the nth degree, and then they move on. My family broods and holds grudges.
Maybe it's all shaped by personalities and within a few generations families change. I don't think that the family my grandmother grew up in was as reserved as the one that she raised, and that may be due to the husband she chose. I do know that there are things about my family that I hope to preserve, and things about Mr. J's family that I would like to see us carry forward ... as well as things to be avoided on both sides.
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