Twinkle: Sanitized Nursery Rhymes

We're having a bit of trouble with our station wagon, so today after a date(!) with Mr. Twinkle (we went to a mid-afternoon movie and early dinner--such a treat for us both) we did a switch-a-roo on some cars. So now I'm driving MIL's car because it has a car seat in it. And it is lovely that she's letting me use it, but it is this tan Buick with the driver's seat sitting so high I actually bump my head on the roof of the car when I drive it. I don't know how that birds nest of a hairdo of hers survives any commute.

Of course, playing in MIL's car was a Baby Genius cd (Baby Einstein knock-off) for the benefit of Twinklette. I tend to think that even children's music can be interesting. I play everything for Twinklette (right now we're into '60s protest ballads), but when I want a children's cd I look to a charming little cd I got at the Land of Nod. It's Elizabeth Mitchell, a mom, playing acoustic guitar and singing kids songs (some old-fashioned, some new) in a sweet voice. Sometimes her children sing on the album. It's charming and sort of Southern, and Twinklette and I both like it, when the mood calls for something kid-friendly. Baby Genius, on the other hand, grates on the nerves like someone else's toddler screaming in a coffee shop. (Mine would never do that, of course).

So, there is this one song on the cd, Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, sung in an operatic style and performed with a full orchestra. And I have been making fun of it to Mr. Twinkle forever (MIL plays that d*mn cd every chance she gets), so as soon as I got the Buick back at my house, I ganked the cd and loaded my favorite track into iTunes.

And upon more intense listening, it seems that the good folks at Baby Genius have changed the words to this beloved nursery rhyme. As I remember it, the rhyme goes:

Peter Peter pumpkin-eater

Had a wife and couldn't keep her.

Put her in a pumpkin shell,

And there he kept her very well.

I've always liked that particular rhyme, because it's kind of funny, and I like the nod to the cuckolded Peter. It's almost like an Old English version of Finding Nemo, which I haven't seen but apparently has humor that appeals to both children and their parents.

The Baby Genius version says:

Peter Peter pumpkin-eater

Had a wife who could not sleep

He put her in a pumpkin shell

And there she slept so very well.

That's not really fun or whimsical...it's just kind of preachy.

Twinklette has another book with the Little Piggies, and instead of "this little piggy had none," it says, "this little piggy had fun." Because I guess it's not fair that one little piggy got all the roast beef. I don't know about you all, but I just think that is ridiculous. And I really don't understand the thinking behind teaching kids the wrong words to classic rhymes, when history made them that way for whatever reason. Why mess with it, geniuses at Baby Genius? Is there some movement that I'm missing that believes that some nursery rhymes are inappropriate for small children because they're unfair or illustrate unhealthy marital relationships? I say leave the lyrics alone, and for heavens sake stop setting them to classical/country/jazz tunes.

The whole baby education movement is out of control, anyway. Playing is the best thing babies and children can do to learn...and a good way to expose them to different kinds of music is to play different kinds of music. Hey Diddle Diddle with new lyrics, set to a honkytonk beat, doesn't count.