Dibbs: Mother Effer

Sorry. It's not very nice to begin a post that way, is it?

So, on Friday night our friend Amanda (we'll call her Amanda for anonymity's sake) and I went to a fundraiser for Green Hill Therapies. We felt a beer tasting would be prime territory to meet new guys. On the way in, Amanda said, "Walk faster, Dibbs, faster." Someone she had dated with a poor ending was behind us with his girlfriend. He proceeded to run from us all night until Amanda accidentally winked at him. Oops.

Anyway. As we were playing our money, I heard a familiar singing voice from the front of the room. Yep, the band I was vehemently Never. Going. To. Hear. Again. was right in the front of the room. Yep, one mere week after my proclamation. One week after the e-harmony betrayal, I had already violated by terms, and I didn't even do it on purpose. Mother effer.

Amanda and I discussed. We had just paid $30. We decided the band was way in the front of the room. He would never see us. Until three minutes later when he left the stage for a break. Natch. And where did he make a beeline? Why, the Arrogant Bastard beer line with me, of course. After a big hug and some small talk, we did a toast of our cups. He had a big cup; I had a tiny tasting cup. He said, "Big cup--big heart." I replied, "Small cup--wee little bead of a heart encased in a block of ice." He disagreed. Whatevs.

He told his fellow betrayer all about the next night---on their date. She reported that no one at the dinner party would talk to her; love me some Junyaleeg. (One guy mentioned my name during the dinner. Big ups.) She also thinks our friendship is too valuable to waste on a guy (now that she's been out with him three times and doesn't understand his sense of humor.) Apparently he's really smart, and she just doesn't think he's funny. Maybe she shouldn't say that out loud.