A few vignettes from today...
A sweet story and a predictable reaction:
Setup: after a long birthday celebration in Manhattan, Twinklette took a nap on the train and when we got back to the hotel, Mr. Twinkle departed for the Celtics game in Boston. Twinklette went to my SIL's house with everyone else while I took a shower and had the first little bit of downtime in a full day, then I tried to take a shuttle from the hotel but ended up taking a cab from the hotel to my SIL's house because the shuttles don't run there. I also really, really, really wanted to get there by myself, since my in-laws have been dictating everyone's plans as if Mr. Twinkle and I can't do anything for ourselves...and it was getting later and I wanted to enjoy the rest of my daughter's birthday in her presence. Alright now you know the confusing back story, and a little of the hurried, emotional, increasingly desperate of state of mind I was in when I got into this cab.
So I had some cash, but the cabbie had trouble with his GPS system and ended using up half the cab fare I had with me while we were sitting in the hotel parking lot waiting for him to figure out where we were going. I told him, I only had x much money, and I was afraid that since we sat in the lot for so long with the meter running, I wouldn't be able pay him when we got there. He started driving and I reiterated, "Hey--my cab fare's half gone and we're still next to the hotel. Why don't you drop me off at this WalMart?" I was hating him at that moment...and my voice cracked a little at the humiliating thought of being dropped at a WalMart and having to be picked up by my MIL--I mean, what better confirmation that I don't have my sh*t together as an adult than having to come out and pick me up at a random WalMart less than a mile from my hotel after a taxi cab debacle? She might as well just go ahead and take custody of my child.
So I was upset, and the cabbie said, "It's OK. Don't cry. Don't cry. I'll take you there," and he turned off his meter. Well, that really set me off, because I know he needs to make a living, too, but I simply didn't have the cash and Mr. Twinkle had the debit card with him. So basically he insisted on taking me and was talking about showing kindness to people when you can, and choosing to help someone because some things are more important than money, and there's a lot of bad in the world but we make it better when we choose to be kind. He also said, when I protested, that sometimes when people are trying to show us a kindness when we need it, we should just accept it graciously. And he's right--we should.
So I calmed down, and got his name and address so I can compensate him when I get home (which I fully intend to do), and I told him a little about why I'm so emotionally fragile...my MIL's a b*tch, she's bossing everyone around, I was going to look like an idiot if she had to pick me up at WalMart, etc. And then I asked him about himself.
Yeah, he's from Haiti.
So we talked about his family (he hasn't talked to any of them, and of course he's worried sick and resigned to the worst), his career (he's a former ballet dancer), his family (he has a wife and 6-year-old daughter here), Twinklette's birthday, and we talked about deeper things like losing loved ones and being scared, and choosing to show kindness when we can. I thanked him profusely for showing kindness to me, and we parted the best of friends.
And then I walked into my SIL's house, profoundly moved and feeling uplifted, like maybe there's actually some warmth and kindness out there in the world, waiting for us in the most unlikely places. And MIL greeted me with an eyeroll and, "Well, how much did that cost you?" And I just played it off...I wasn't going to let her take the joy out of it, and I certainly wasn't going to bastardize the story by trying to repeat it to her. I'm sure she'd just find a way to cheapen it or make into it a bad thing. GMIL (grandmother-in-law) was also all concerned about the cab fare...but honestly, I got more out of it than I ever could have paid. I really do believe that sometimes God uses people as angels.
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My in-laws hate American Girl and think it's extravagant...so GMIL always has to get in a dig about that. She said, "Was the restaurant crowded?" And I said, "Well, it was a school day, but, yes, it was full. Mostly people having birthdays." And she said, shaking her head, "I'm surprised that people still go there...you know, with the economy. People just can't afford that anymore." She needs to back off on the d*mn economy. Yes, we're in a recession and it sucks, but that doesn't mean that parents won't pay through the nose to give their daughters a magical day of girl empowerment. She's the same person who says she's surprised the Uptown Cafe is still open, because "people in that part of town can't afford to go out to a nice restaurant, like the ones in the east end can." How out of touch can you be? Yes...poor me, living in those awful tenements right by Seneca and Cherokee Parks. And let's not even discuss the ghetto-esque Strathmoor/Belnap/Eastern Parkway/Cherokee Triangle area the rest of you poor, destitute near-hobos live in. And, last time I checked, the east end McMansion lifestyle involved a lot of trips to the Chili's by Tinseltown.
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My SIL's SIL...we'll call her Beth, since that's her name and her identity is so far removed from anyone we know...is notorious for being one of these regimented Nazi mommies. I'm not really like that; we have a loose schedule but mostly I just kind of go with the flow, but tonight I wanted Twinklette to get to bed early since the last two days have been so off-schedule and exhausting. I'd planned to eat dinner over there, eat the cake my SIL generously ordered, and come back here early. MIL was in agreement (actually, she informed me that's what we were doing before I had the chance to tell her it was my plan, too). Lots of people were coming over to eat a casual dinner and have birthday cake before turning in early, as most people traveled today.
So tonight, Beth and fam came for dinner when the rest of us were finishing. And Beth proceeded to disappear to breastfeed her kid for 45 minutes. And then her other kid had to eat lasagna. Meanwhile, a whole houseful of people were waiting around for Beth and fam to be ready sing Happy Birthday and to eat birthday cake so we could go back to the hotel. We waited and waited. Finally, Beth and fam were headed out the door. They don't allow their kids to have birthday cake (WTF?)...so basically they delayed us all an hour and prevented us from eating cake in front of their kids, thus pushing back Twinklette's bedtime again.
But at least Beth's kids are on schedule.
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That's all...more tomorrow I'm sure.
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