Twinkle: Part V—Trying Hard, Doing It Wrong, and Getting Zero Credit and All the Blame. Again

My husband and I talked last night. I was and still am just...stunned...at the way this plan for St. Louis was communicated and received. I was trying to swallow my pride, be the more gracious person, and help to repair the relationship going forward. (The very relationship that I did nothing to damage, other than send an ill-received text message about wanting to know my kids' plans.)

I decided to prove my good faith by sending another casual yet friendly text message, which attempted to convey my real attitude toward the whole thing. I could have mentioned a few points: that this all started with a text message in which I made a reasonable request; that the the three (now four) weeks of silence were uncalled for; that it was hurtful when MIL didn't speak to me at GMIL's house other than to yell "pretty is as pretty does" in my direction, that the lies my MIL told about my family and me as she cried to my husband about how hard she had tried were incredibly hurtful.

I mentioned NONE of that. In a good-faith, honest, and gracious effort at reconciliation, here is what I said:

Hi—I'm not sure that what [Husband] and I talked about regarding St. Louis was properly conveyed.

I felt like the St. Louis plan was sprung on me because [Husband] didn't mention the initial plan after discussing it with you all. I was sad about missing out on the time with the kids before they go to camp. I really miss them when they're gone, so finding out they would be gone for three days during those two weeks felt like a lot. 

I thought it was a good solution to join you all in St. Louis. If that works for you all, I'd love to move forward with that plan. Just let us know! Thanks!

I don't want to go to St. Louis, but I'll do it if we can move past this absolutely bonkers episode and have things be halfway normal. I hate this plan, but I love my husband. If he thinks this is a way forward, I'll do that for him. I don't even see it as giving in; I honestly see it as a lesson in humility and grace that I can learn from. I see it as a stumbling point in my marriage that can sanctify me to be more loving to difficult people that I am stuck with.

Also, I see that text messages may not be the best way to talk to these people. I tend to prefer texts simply because they often take my actions and words the wrong way, so at least if it's there in writing, I have some proof of what I said. 

I was actually scared to wake up and look at my phone this morning, for fear at what I had done wrong with this attempt to lighten the mood casually, and also capitulate to their demands, in a way I could live with. They haven't responded, which tells me I have erred. Gravely.